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| 3rd time quitter. First time using what I know.; Full Understanding of what I know professionally | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 3 2016, 01:44 PM (4,034 Views) | |
| kubiackalpha | Mar 3 2016, 01:44 PM Post #1 |
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Quit Ninja
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Hello, everyone. This is day 3 of quitting this time around. Two previous times I had good time under my belt. Once for 2 years and another for almost 5 years. In my intro I plan on letting my discovery out in hopes that it helps others. I know there are some angry folks on this board and, quite frankly, I don't respond to that at all. Anyways, For 7 years I was a drug and alcohol counselor. I know the road to recovery from a professional stand point. I knew what it took to get clean and sober and to stay clean and sober. Yes, you do have to have both Clean and Sober for it to be Recovery. The biggest fault of quitting is who I was doing it for. First time was my Ex Wife, the second time was my ex girlfriend after my ex wife. See. I quit for them. So, of course, when it went south with them I felt no need to keep on quitting. This time, it is for me. I want to quit. This time has been harder, though, than previous times. Previously, no withdraw symptoms. No, my jaw aches, my body aches, I am very tired and sleepy, eyes itch, fluctuating appetite, headaches. I know I need this support group. I know I am going to start a live support group in my town. I do believe the 12 steps will help. Addiction is an addiction is an addiction. No matter the stigma an addiction to chemicals has, it is still the same. I hope I helped somebody. I am no better than anyone else nor am I any less. If anyone wants to chat, message, talk, anything. Let me know. |
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| emc4 | Mar 3 2016, 01:54 PM Post #2 |
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Quit Ninja
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Get on over to your quit group ASAP and post roll. You are in the 'Pre-HOF June 2016' quit group. Click this link, and post roll. Do it every day, first thing. http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11536813/52/#new You've got it right...this quit is for you and no one else. No more false starts, now is the time. |
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| wildirish317 | Mar 3 2016, 01:57 PM Post #3 |
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#junited
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Welcome to our nightmare. Day 3 is the worst. Just get through today. |
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| Swanson Approves | Mar 3 2016, 02:26 PM Post #4 |
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Serial Intern
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Man, you do sound like a pro. Let's make it stick-- Welcome to mutha fuckin', puck-chuckin' June Platoon. 'Remshot' 'Remshot' 'Remshot' |
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| Idaho Spuds | Mar 3 2016, 03:09 PM Post #5 |
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KTC Junkie
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If you want to make this you final and only quit, get active and post roll. See you each day, Idaho Spuds 564 |
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“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.” -- Anonymous Yesterday +1 November 2014 Quit Group My Intro | |
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| AppleJack | Mar 3 2016, 04:10 PM Post #6 |
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Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution...
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Sounds like you will know this, but it bears repeating... Get involved and stay involved. No more trying. This is it... own it. |
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Day 1... 4-17-13 Well, it's one louder isn't it? It's not ten. | |
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| kubiackalpha | Mar 4 2016, 02:33 PM Post #7 |
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Quit Ninja
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Hopefully I did the roll correctly. First time blogging or whatever this is considered. I will get the hang of it though. I will be here everyday. I know I need this group. I read a post earlier about a guy that was going to go get hammered after only 5 days of non use. When I read that, it reminded me of something one of my co workers which is in recovery for Alcohol said "When you think you don't need it anymore is right when you need it the most." My fog and pain has subsided for today. Just for today, self. |
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it. Honest words only work if it comes from an honest man. I lack the understanding of how someone as Fu(k#d up as you can produce offspring that aren't putting dog turds in bread and calling it a hot dog! I left my shotgun on the porch fully loaded and cocked. It didn't kill a single person. I have screwed up this time sheet 6 damn times! No. Now you just know how not to do something six more ways. Sometimes. Special little butterflies just need to realize they are a moth, find an open candle flame, fly face first into it. (If you think that is about you then...well Cinderella, if the shoe fits). Baggy leg shorts + fly season + my office is a barn = odd looks from co workers that don't understand and a call to HR for lewd conduct. | |
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| wildirish317 | Mar 4 2016, 10:15 PM Post #8 |
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#junited
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I think you did okay. If you screw it up, someone will come along and fix it. After a few times, they'll call you out on it. With roll, the effort is paramount. We're pretty forgiving. Not posting roll is what will bring down the hammer. Welcome to the mfpc June Platoon! I quit with you today! |
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| kubiackalpha | Mar 5 2016, 10:21 AM Post #9 |
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Quit Ninja
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I work in the Agriculture business now and have for the past two years. I am in the rebooting part of my life right now. I can make all the excuses in the world as to why things have failed in the past. Yes, I wasn't doing it for myself so that was a huge player in it. Honestly, it comes down to I was weak. I let something so small control me. I can't help but laugh at the times I was presenting to my inpatient groups how a rolled up piece of paper (representing Marijuana) controlled them. The rolled up paper once unrolled would have about ten silly instructions on it like walk like a chicken or slide on the floor on your stomach. Eventually they understood. Now, I understand. It was federal and state law that I could not use tobacco in the facility. Well, I was willing getting fired for a dip. What an idiot I was. Today, I feel so much better about it. If I want to talk to a beautiful woman I don't have to tuck it way back in my cheek or spit it out and pop in gum. I can just go talk to her. I wont have to make excuses to walk outside when I visit my parents. Just for today, Self |
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it. Honest words only work if it comes from an honest man. I lack the understanding of how someone as Fu(k#d up as you can produce offspring that aren't putting dog turds in bread and calling it a hot dog! I left my shotgun on the porch fully loaded and cocked. It didn't kill a single person. I have screwed up this time sheet 6 damn times! No. Now you just know how not to do something six more ways. Sometimes. Special little butterflies just need to realize they are a moth, find an open candle flame, fly face first into it. (If you think that is about you then...well Cinderella, if the shoe fits). Baggy leg shorts + fly season + my office is a barn = odd looks from co workers that don't understand and a call to HR for lewd conduct. | |
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| RDB | Mar 5 2016, 12:24 PM Post #10 |
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Quit Ninja
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Huh. I work in the agriculture business too. |
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| kubiackalpha | Mar 7 2016, 11:41 AM Post #11 |
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Quit Ninja
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No matter what one may answer for why they messed up or failed or quit quitting or whatever it is referred to by the person. It boils down to you didn't want it enough. It wasnt that important to you. Quitting has to be selfish. But, wait, what about my family? don't they deserve me. Just, stop it. Making excuses at the beginning, allowing failure before even starting. Here is the thing. If you don't take care of yourself how the heck do you expect to take care of your kids, wife, mom, dad, family? I also know when you think you have it licked, it will lick you. We have all slept with the enemy. We know its many lies, wants, romance. We know what she is capable of. We know she can destroy families. Heck, it can destroy relationships before they even start. I hope the admins are fine with me writing daily here. This helps me stay focused and it also helps me knowing that someone that reads this just might glean something from it and help them out for the day. Just for today, Self. |
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it. Honest words only work if it comes from an honest man. I lack the understanding of how someone as Fu(k#d up as you can produce offspring that aren't putting dog turds in bread and calling it a hot dog! I left my shotgun on the porch fully loaded and cocked. It didn't kill a single person. I have screwed up this time sheet 6 damn times! No. Now you just know how not to do something six more ways. Sometimes. Special little butterflies just need to realize they are a moth, find an open candle flame, fly face first into it. (If you think that is about you then...well Cinderella, if the shoe fits). Baggy leg shorts + fly season + my office is a barn = odd looks from co workers that don't understand and a call to HR for lewd conduct. | |
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| kubiackalpha | Mar 8 2016, 05:05 PM Post #12 |
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Quit Ninja
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So. For those that was to know or even care. I am 39, divorced, I work in the agriculture business after being a counselor for 7 years for drug and alcohol addiction (Mental and Behavioural Health in general). I can't put the blame on one person. Yes, my dad dipped. But, I wasn't too fond of him for several years (Until I was about 25) because he worked 70+ hours a week and was not active in my life at all. So, he really didn't have an impact on me in that way. Except, now, I work the hours like he works. I started dipping when I was 16. Cherry Skoal. played around with Mint and a few other flavours. Finally landing on Big Daddy Cope. I bounced a few bars and dance halls. Met a couple Copenhagen Angels (Open a can and lip half the can with one hand only while the other held a beer). It was quite romantic. We never had to take it out to kiss! Soon, it became a matter of manhood. Not a man if you cant swallow the juice. I rationalized it was good for you because my grandfather would use twist and plug tobaccos for the cattle and horses to keep them worm free. Then, it was stress relief. I could go be on my own, not have to interact with anyone, and just chill. Damn habit became habitual and I didn't even realize it. Sneaky basterd NIC! |
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it. Honest words only work if it comes from an honest man. I lack the understanding of how someone as Fu(k#d up as you can produce offspring that aren't putting dog turds in bread and calling it a hot dog! I left my shotgun on the porch fully loaded and cocked. It didn't kill a single person. I have screwed up this time sheet 6 damn times! No. Now you just know how not to do something six more ways. Sometimes. Special little butterflies just need to realize they are a moth, find an open candle flame, fly face first into it. (If you think that is about you then...well Cinderella, if the shoe fits). Baggy leg shorts + fly season + my office is a barn = odd looks from co workers that don't understand and a call to HR for lewd conduct. | |
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| kubiackalpha | Mar 11 2016, 03:59 PM Post #13 |
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Quit Ninja
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Day 12 and I have headaches. I can't really think of any words of wisdom I have from my days as a counselor. Too much pain in the brain. Only thing I can think of to help you on your quit is "DON'T MAKE ANY MAJOR CHANGES WITH YOUR LIFE EXCEPT FOR QUITTING!" Seriously, folks. You don't want to start a new job during this transition. You don't want a relationship (Start or end one) in this unless the end will result in you having less stress now and it is healthier for you. IF YOU CAN, push that lil battered back up the cooch. LMAO! In all seriousness. Testing the waters will always get you wet. I know we can't avoid everything always out entire lives. We cant always avoid the convenience store, avoid the Gator/Power ade bottles, other dippers. We can, however, be smart. Go the extra one mile to Costco/Walmart/Sams/IGA/whateveritiswhereyoulive and get it there if you can. If you gotta take someone with you, be on the phone with one of these other BAQ then do it. |
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it. Honest words only work if it comes from an honest man. I lack the understanding of how someone as Fu(k#d up as you can produce offspring that aren't putting dog turds in bread and calling it a hot dog! I left my shotgun on the porch fully loaded and cocked. It didn't kill a single person. I have screwed up this time sheet 6 damn times! No. Now you just know how not to do something six more ways. Sometimes. Special little butterflies just need to realize they are a moth, find an open candle flame, fly face first into it. (If you think that is about you then...well Cinderella, if the shoe fits). Baggy leg shorts + fly season + my office is a barn = odd looks from co workers that don't understand and a call to HR for lewd conduct. | |
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| kubiackalpha | Mar 14 2016, 09:26 AM Post #14 |
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Quit Ninja
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So sick of being sick. Think i am becoming allergic to children. My friends boy stole the families only car to go joy riding. He lost control of the vehicle and wrecked. Glad he is okay and all. But, I was the one that got up and helped him get his boy and arrange and do all that stuff with him. I think that is why I was craving a dip this morning. Usually in these times I have a dip in to keep me level. Instead, it was talking all I had. Why did I need to stay level? Why was I frustrated? I feel, that he should have been able to handle all of that. He is an adult. Heck, he is older than me. I understand the family only having the one vehicle. But, this was me talking to the hi po, the wrecker service, impound, fees and all that shit. Why the fuck am I the one doing it? That, is why I craved. I didnt cave, though. WOOHOO! Victory!! Just for today, Self. |
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it. Honest words only work if it comes from an honest man. I lack the understanding of how someone as Fu(k#d up as you can produce offspring that aren't putting dog turds in bread and calling it a hot dog! I left my shotgun on the porch fully loaded and cocked. It didn't kill a single person. I have screwed up this time sheet 6 damn times! No. Now you just know how not to do something six more ways. Sometimes. Special little butterflies just need to realize they are a moth, find an open candle flame, fly face first into it. (If you think that is about you then...well Cinderella, if the shoe fits). Baggy leg shorts + fly season + my office is a barn = odd looks from co workers that don't understand and a call to HR for lewd conduct. | |
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| kubiackalpha | Mar 14 2016, 04:14 PM Post #15 |
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Quit Ninja
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Trollop! YES! I made it to Trollop status! WOOHOO! You know, Heroine, Meth, optiates, etc, all have withdrawals. In my experience dealing with clients that have had them they are gone after 3 days. I have never dealt with a beast such as this NIC that would still have withdrawals 15 days after the fact. Some Hall of Famers are reporting 100 days plus still having withdrawals. Fuck, man. Nic is a BITCH! |
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Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it. Honest words only work if it comes from an honest man. I lack the understanding of how someone as Fu(k#d up as you can produce offspring that aren't putting dog turds in bread and calling it a hot dog! I left my shotgun on the porch fully loaded and cocked. It didn't kill a single person. I have screwed up this time sheet 6 damn times! No. Now you just know how not to do something six more ways. Sometimes. Special little butterflies just need to realize they are a moth, find an open candle flame, fly face first into it. (If you think that is about you then...well Cinderella, if the shoe fits). Baggy leg shorts + fly season + my office is a barn = odd looks from co workers that don't understand and a call to HR for lewd conduct. | |
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