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| A very difficult trip to the doctor... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 13 2015, 06:27 AM (1,079 Views) | |
| TR66 | Jan 13 2015, 06:27 AM Post #1 |
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Newbie
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Hey everyone, my name is Tanner, I started chewing in August 2013, January 5th 2015 was my last day of dipping. I started with Grizzly Wintergreen pouches in the summer of 2013, two of my buddies had recently started, so one day we all were at a gas station and I bought a can for us to share. As soon as I put the first pouch in, I knew I was hooked. I felt my inhibitions dissappear, I was talking with a confidence I hadn't felt before, I was excited to try this new thing, I had drank heavily, smoked cigarettes in high school and messed around with other substances after graduation, none of it made me feel better than that first can of Grizzly. I continued to dip, even after my mom found a can in my jeans, my dad tried to get me to quit after seeing me chew one time(my parents are divorced, and speaking to my dad or even about him is a big stressor) my grandparents found spitters that I had left behind at their house, worst of all, my 6 year old cousin found a can and spitter, and tried to hide it, knowing it was mine and I would have been scolded. I switched Camel Snus briefly, simply because I wanted that nicotine buzz while working. I work in the music industry, I am a drum tech, I work long hours, around grumpy, bitter people, and I have to take a fair amount of crap from the older crew members, the majority of which are smokers, so dipping around them was a way of proving my equality...I know, how stupid, "I'm willing to get cancer just like you guys! See, I'm one of you! ". Copenhagen Mint, long cut ended up being my go to. AT LEAST a can a day for about 8 months, I always had two cans with me, especially at work. After the new year I went to the doctor for a simple visit for a bug I had picked up. The doc examined me and immediately got to the point, he informed me that I have Leukoplakia on the upper right side of my mouth. I walked out of the building, took my spitter and brand new cans and chucked them out of the window while driving. I haven't dipped, chewed, nothing, in 8 days. It's definitely taking a toll on me. The way I see it, I don't have a choice of relapse, it's either quit or fuel the cancer. Thank you for reading. |
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| Steakbomb18 | Jan 13 2015, 07:56 AM Post #2 |
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Grade A Badass
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Tough way to bring in the new year. Thank you for sharing that and congratulations on being 8 days quit, especially on your own. That is no easy feat. Read up my friend, there is lots to learn and a number of ways build your quit. Only way to do that, however, is to post your name on the April 2015 roll call. You see, we're an internet support group, and all we have is a person's word. That promise to say that you will not use nicotine in any form for that day. Posting roll is that signature. It's your promise or ...your word. We all post roll as well and dually we make that promise to ourselves and to this community. As you continue to move beyond the fog and haze, things will become more clear, the further away you move from Day 1. You'll learn that you don't need nicotine to do any of that stuff you wrote about. Matter of fact, you'll enjoy life more without it. Freedom, freedom from that bitch we call nicotine...it's a beautiful thing. |
| HOF: 3/21/2014 | |
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| Rawls | Jan 13 2015, 12:40 PM Post #3 |
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In Him
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Great decision.. Now let's go to work. Read 1-4 Here Get to know men in your group, drink lots of water, and keep reading on here. PM any of us with questions. Post roll today.... If you can't figure it out I will help you. Edited by Rawls, Jan 13 2015, 12:45 PM.
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Just an old sinner, wanting to show another, where he can get a free meal. The Cross And a 38 year addict, wanting to show another, where he can get a free Quit. KTC Not what I should be..or could be....but better than what I used to be. I BELIEVE....... Intro HOF 100 Days/100 Words Some Truth About Nicotine Addiction | |
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| pab1964 | Jan 13 2015, 12:56 PM Post #4 |
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Proud member of 2015 April Silverbacks!
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Now let me ask you a question? How many dippers do you know that's waiting for the doctor to tell them they have cancer before there gonna decide to quit! I don't know any. See the nic bitch convinces us we gonna be just fine! It's either you haven't been dipping long enough to hurt anything or if nothings happened by now it ain't going to! 38 year addict on day 17 I quit with you my brother! |
| ROLL TIDE ROLL! God, Family and crappie fishing! I will always be an addict, but hopefully never a slave again! | |
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| Grievous Angel | Jan 13 2015, 12:59 PM Post #5 |
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check your ego at the door
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This should go away. If it served as a wake up call, good. Quit while you are young. Keep an eye on your mouth and if it isn't gone in a week or so (and you're still not using), go back. |
| "The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time." - Jack London | |
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| Rawls | Jan 13 2015, 01:02 PM Post #6 |
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In Him
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Hey TR66 I'm NOT a doctor..... Just an old 50 year old addict trying to help another addict. I think you should go get another doctors opinion on this visit you had. I would also go see a dentist. And talk with them. I found this info on Internet. "Leukoplakia appears as thick, white patches on your gums or on the insides of your cheeks. Although leukoplakia itself isn't dangerous, it sometimes shows precancerous changes that can lead to mouth cancer." Cancer is a scary and real thing, my father in law has it and they have rebuilt his tongue with a muscle in his forearm. Post Roll, get involved here, let us know how it is going and try and get another doctors appointment. |
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Just an old sinner, wanting to show another, where he can get a free meal. The Cross And a 38 year addict, wanting to show another, where he can get a free Quit. KTC Not what I should be..or could be....but better than what I used to be. I BELIEVE....... Intro HOF 100 Days/100 Words Some Truth About Nicotine Addiction | |
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| Idaho Spuds | Jan 13 2015, 08:50 PM Post #7 |
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KTC Junkie
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That is scary stuff. Have you been to the dentist recently. If not make an appointment and they can refer you if needed. Quit each day, post roll, repeat! |
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“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.” -- Anonymous Yesterday +1 November 2014 Quit Group My Intro | |
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| Jeff W. | Jan 13 2015, 10:32 PM Post #8 |
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Quitter
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Hey TR66 - that's a scary event. I hope everything turns out for you and this is just a shitty wake-up call. I'm a 34 year user on Day 3, and I'm here to stand and quit with you. If you want to exchange numbers so we can support each other through tough times, shoot me a PM. Do roll call religiously! I am finding my daily promise to this community to be the single biggest thing each day that enforces my desire to stay quit. |
| We save dogs: http://valspalsgsdrescue.org | |
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| Scowick65 | Jan 14 2015, 11:01 AM Post #9 |
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Quit Sherpa
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Hi Tanner, I noticed that you wrote your post yesterday morning at 6:00 am and then logged back in late in the afternoon. Thanks for posting. I guess you are scarred? I don't know how you feel but I know I would be scared. So, I suppose you read all of the great responses that quitters took the time to write, yet you did not choose to post roll. Why not? Ponder that for a moment.... "As soon as I put the first pouch in, I knew I was hooked. I switched Camel Snus briefly, simply because I wanted that nicotine buzz while working. I always had two cans with me, especially at work". I am going to lay it on the line for you. You have more than a medical issue. You have an addiction issue. Addictions don't go away. They last a lifetime. I should know, I am addicted to nicotine. You best post roll and start quitting next time you log in. Getting empathy from people who are actually quitting will get you nada. So, back to the point. So, I suppose you read all of the great responses that quitters took the time to write, yet you did not choose to post roll. Why not? Ponder that for a moment.... Edited by Scowick65, Jan 14 2015, 11:03 AM.
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1 Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems "Cavers find a way to cave. Quitters find a way to quit" ~ 30 Post with March 2011 Day 2,600: 1/22/2018 Day 0,001: 12/11/2010 HOF Speach: I am not a unique and special butterfly | |
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| Scowick65 | Jan 15 2015, 09:01 AM Post #10 |
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Quit Sherpa
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Still checking in, still not posting roll.... |
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1 Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems "Cavers find a way to cave. Quitters find a way to quit" ~ 30 Post with March 2011 Day 2,600: 1/22/2018 Day 0,001: 12/11/2010 HOF Speach: I am not a unique and special butterfly | |
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| NoMoreCopeBlack | Jan 15 2015, 11:48 AM Post #11 |
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CENSORED
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You knew you were developing that leukoplakia and you kept dipping. I know you knew, I did it too. Doctor's words won't make you quit. Quitting makes you quit. You can rule your own life and you don't need to feel this way anymore. |
| Post roll, don't dip. Have to admit, that part was fucking easy this last 123 days. I had no epiphany or grand revelation about quitting, no medical event, no life changes. I knew plenty about nicotine and quitting already before I came here, I knew dipping was the wrong thing and I kept doing it on purpose (for a while I would even say, "Hail, Satan!" when I bought a can - let's be honest about what deliberate evil really is). There was nothing special about 6 Oct 2014, except that I committed to quitting, all the way, in the KTC quit vehicle, with quitters who would never accept the bullshit that I accepted from myself. Like I said, I knew SO MUCH about quitting already; Quitting for me has a lot to do with internal dialogue and narrative. "I" dip - WTF? Cravings - I have none. As a quitter, thoughts about dipping are not my thoughts. When you hear, "Ba dah bop ba bah," is, "I'm lovin' it," your thought? No. Recognizing and reconditioning dipper thoughts is so fucking easy in a place like KTC. Think of the saying, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." What source flows into the heart to fill it to abundance? Sense data, interpreted/associated sense data, stories about identity from the internal narrative, entrainment to those like-hearted, and your own speech feeds back. I am quit. I am quit and I quit forever, today, whatever it takes, no excuses ever, with the SHELL and Mayhem. | |
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| CastleHusky | Jan 15 2015, 05:55 PM Post #12 |
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Frassy
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You find yourself amongst like company here. Many of us found KTC due to cancer scares and fear. All of us knew at some point during our addiction that what we were doing could lead down that road and continued to dip anyway. We're all idiots and we all figured it out, that's the important thing; you figured it out. There's no need to lament about the actions we made in the past because we can not change them, but rather we need to celebrate the decisions we are making now. So I celebrate with you your choice to cut that shit out of your life for good. If you have concerns about what you're going through and what to expect, don't be afraid to reach out. There are enough people in this community that at least one will have had the same experiences and can offer insight; it would be silly not to take advantage of that. Welcome to KTC, TR. |
| Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something. | |
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| TR66 | Jan 16 2015, 01:03 AM Post #13 |
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Newbie
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Ok guys, I'm here. Still 11 days quit. I'm scared right now. I'm at work, no one else is around, I know there is one dip left in a can in my toolbox right here. I REALLY want it, I'm shaking just thinking about it. Fuc#!!# |
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| TR66 | Jan 16 2015, 01:07 AM Post #14 |
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Newbie
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I'm not looking for sympathy, I honestly didn't reply because I don't have a clue what to say! I'll post roll, if somebody can show me which category I can find it in. I'm trying my hardest here |
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| erick | Jan 16 2015, 01:17 AM Post #15 |
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Quitter
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Tanner dont do it...grab the can and dump that shit out bro so you dont have anymore around you |
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| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
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