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New Life; DAY 1
Topic Started: Oct 8 2013, 12:44 AM (1,282 Views)
Alan
Newbie
[ * ]
Well, first off Id like to say Im Alan. Like everyone else I dip. I have used for 8 years with spurts of off and on but more on than off. I stumbled onto this page a couple of months ago after "the late night fight" with my wife. I promised her I'd quite and change my habits but my dip has got a strong hold on me. Tonight after coming home from work I found 4 empty cans sitting on the counter and BOOM I knew I had really messed up. 3 months ago she left me because of ling about using. Now it is all on me. I have tossed all can, used or full into the trash. I even went to the extreme of opening all full cans and pouring them down the garbage disposal. I know now that I need help from people that have been there and I need that help now more that ever.
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Mike from AB
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Welcome Alan. I'm sure the veterans will be along shortly with better advice than I have. The first thing I can say though is find a reason you want to do this for yourself. Just doing it for somebody else often isn't enough. No matter how much they might want it for you, you have to want it for yourself. Check out the welcome center link above in red, & read the KillTheCan.org blog. There's lots of good info, and info you should be sharing with your wife too to make her involved & invested in your quit. You can't lie to her, & she can't hold it against you if you're to be successful.
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Alan
Newbie
[ * ]
Thanks Mike. Im letting her cool off a bit. She will hear me say that I joined a group and call BS on me. I have to do a little proving before I bring her on board. In the past I have tried to quit for other people and it doesn't work. This time its for me. I have a little girl that 4 and a little boy that's 2 that look up to me and I need them in my life. I want to be there with a full face to walk my daughter down the aisle one day. That's why I'm done with dip.
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Punkin
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Welcome Alan. I'm glad you're here. You will be in the January 2014 Nic killers. I'm in your group. I'll quit with you everyday, bro. Do this for you and nobody else. Everything else will fall into place. Accountability and trust is everything and trust is a hard thing to earn back once lost. Check your inbox
EMBRACE THE SUCK

If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough

Are you gonna quit dipping, or are you gonna slide your tampon in?
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Alan
Newbie
[ * ]
Nice to meet you Punkin. It sucks I have been down this road 3 or 4 times and have never gotten the backing that I needed but Im starting to think I can do it this time.
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Punkin
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Alan
Oct 7, 2013, 11:04 pm
Nice to meet you Punkin. It sucks I have been down this road 3 or 4 times and have never gotten the backing that I needed but Im starting to think I can do it this time.

Every person in this place has your back brother. By this time tomorrow, you will have talked to so many complete strangers who are walking the same shitty road as you are, that it will make your head spin. You can do it, just do it one day at a time. Reach out for help too. There's no shame in it.
EMBRACE THE SUCK

If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough

Are you gonna quit dipping, or are you gonna slide your tampon in?
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Roamcountry
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Alan
Oct 7, 2013, 10:44 pm
Well, first off Id like to say Im Alan. Like everyone else I dip. I have used for 8 years with spurts of off and on but more on than off. I stumbled onto this page a couple of months ago after "the late night fight" with my wife. I promised her I'd quite and change my habits but my dip has got a strong hold on me. Tonight after coming home from work I found 4 empty cans sitting on the counter and BOOM I knew I had really messed up. 3 months ago she left me because of ling about using. Now it is all on me. I have tossed all can, used or full into the trash. I even went to the extreme of opening all full cans and pouring them down the garbage disposal. I know now that I need help from people that have been there and I need that help now more that ever.

Welcome alan, like you, most of us have lied countless times to our wives. "Oh ya! I quit honey!" Just to sneak off and steal a dip and ultimately time awsu from them. Drink plenty of water and spend your time time reading here on the site. You will soon develope tools and contacts to help with the struggle. Its not easy. We dont promise that. But it will get better, that we do promise. Post your daily roll call as your promise to us not to use nicotine in any shape or form. Be a man and honor that word all day. Then, repeat the next day. If you are struggling, reach out!! Post in your group. Jump into chat. Get connected and build and honorable reputation here.
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Radman
Member Avatar
Never again..... for any reason.
[ *  *  *  * ]
Welcome. The posters below have made some good points.

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip. I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk. I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction. I was in that group. She hated it. She knew what it did. But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it? Not sure why, but hell no. Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons. Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life. All for the better. I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things. I hope that you can do the same thing.

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy. Same goes for your children. You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it. Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen. Bring it here. We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way. Glad you're here.
Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul.

HOF 12-23-2010 Read my HOF speech
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Wt57
Member Avatar
The Old Man
[ *  *  *  * ]
Radman
Oct 8, 2013, 7:36 am
Welcome. The posters below have made some good points.

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip. I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk. I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction. I was in that group. She hated it. She knew what it did. But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it? Not sure why, but hell no. Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons. Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life. All for the better. I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things. I hope that you can do the same thing.

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy. Same goes for your children. You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it. Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen. Bring it here. We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way. Glad you're here.

Welcome aboard Alan. My wife hated my dipping, my sneaking and my lying to her for 33 years. I made the promises and really did want to be a better husband and father but I'm an addict and pure will power wasn't enough. The brotherhood and accountability will help you as it has me. Another comment is that trust has got to be earned and it takes time. Just 2 days ago my wife questioned me if I bought anything besides gas and a drink. That's after 554 days, at first I was offended but then I realized I haven't earned that trust yet.
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda
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Derk40
Member Avatar
OWN IT... OR BE OWNED!
[ *  *  *  * ]
Wt57
Oct 8, 2013, 8:47 am
Radman
Oct 8, 2013, 7:36 am
Welcome.  The posters below have made some good points. 

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip.  I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk.  I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction.  I was in that group.  She hated it.  She knew what it did.  But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it?  Not sure why, but hell no.  Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons.  Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life.  All for the better.  I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things.  I hope that you can do the same thing. 

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy.  Same goes for your children.  You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it.  Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen.  Bring it here.  We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way.  Glad you're here.

Welcome aboard Alan. My wife hated my dipping, my sneaking and my lying to her for 33 years. I made the promises and really did want to be a better husband and father but I'm an addict and pure will power wasn't enough. The brotherhood and accountability will help you as it has me. Another comment is that trust has got to be earned and it takes time. Just 2 days ago my wife questioned me if I bought anything besides gas and a drink. That's after 554 days, at first I was offended but then I realized I haven't earned that trust yet.

Welcome Alan. Nice job posting roll today. If you want to quit then this place will help you do it. But YOU will have to do it. Not for your wife, not for your kids, not for..... fill in the blank. This quittin is not easy and you will have to batten down the hatches & hold this quit on your own. No one can do it for you. That I can assure you.

I used to have fights with my wife & I was a ninja dipper... lied, hid it, fight, repeat, etc. Over time the fights got to be less and less as she found out that I was not quitting because of the fights. She could not make me quit. She basically stopped hassling me about it. It was not until "I" had enough and could not go another day addicted to the poison can that I was able to get my quit on.

Funny thing is that when I was using the poison I used to think that I was "getting away with it". I would hide the stuff and dip in private. Thinking that my wife never knew. Now as I sit here 108 days quit under my belt.. I realize that she just ignored it all to keep the peace & knew I was dipping all along.

Bottom line is... this is YOUR life and if YOU want it back... then YOU have to take it back! This is yours for the taking brother! Trust me when I tell you that you can do this. Focus ODAAT & you got this! Quit with you today.




Quit date: 6/23/2013
HOF Date: 9/30/2013

HOF Speech
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Alan
Newbie
[ * ]
Radman
Oct 8, 2013, 7:36 am
Welcome. The posters below have made some good points.

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip. I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk. I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction. I was in that group. She hated it. She knew what it did. But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it? Not sure why, but hell no. Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons. Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life. All for the better. I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things. I hope that you can do the same thing.

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy. Same goes for your children. You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it. Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen. Bring it here. We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way. Glad you're here.

Thing have been messes up in the past. There have always been our issues but dip was the biggest thing. Id lie about because i wouldnt want to deal with the fight and aftermath that would come. There is no dought that my wife and myself have some issues but im will to do some work and go thepught hell. Its not for my wife right noq i could really care less what she asks. Its my son and daughter that will keep me going. I want to be able to play ball with my son, watch my daughter dance and to be able to see both of them grow into adults and have families of there own. Thats why I AM QUIT
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Alan
Newbie
[ * ]
Wt57
Oct 8, 2013, 7:47 am
Radman
Oct 8, 2013, 7:36 am
Welcome.  The posters below have made some good points. 

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip.  I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk.  I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction.  I was in that group.  She hated it.  She knew what it did.  But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it?  Not sure why, but hell no.  Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons.  Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life.  All for the better.  I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things.  I hope that you can do the same thing. 

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy.  Same goes for your children.  You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it.  Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen.  Bring it here.  We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way.  Glad you're here.

Welcome aboard Alan. My wife hated my dipping, my sneaking and my lying to her for 33 years. I made the promises and really did want to be a better husband and father but I'm an addict and pure will power wasn't enough. The brotherhood and accountability will help you as it has me. Another comment is that trust has got to be earned and it takes time. Just 2 days ago my wife questioned me if I bought anything besides gas and a drink. That's after 554 days, at first I was offended but then I realized I haven't earned that trust yet.

I have to say that with everythIng i have seen so far, it looks like im not alone with the same issues.
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30isEnuff
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Alan
Oct 8, 2013, 9:08 am
Wt57
Oct 8, 2013, 7:47 am
Radman
Oct 8, 2013, 7:36 am
Welcome.  The posters below have made some good points. 

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip.  I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk.  I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction.  I was in that group.  She hated it.  She knew what it did.  But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it?  Not sure why, but hell no.  Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons.  Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life.  All for the better.  I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things.  I hope that you can do the same thing. 

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy.  Same goes for your children.  You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it.  Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen.  Bring it here.  We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way.  Glad you're here.

Welcome aboard Alan. My wife hated my dipping, my sneaking and my lying to her for 33 years. I made the promises and really did want to be a better husband and father but I'm an addict and pure will power wasn't enough. The brotherhood and accountability will help you as it has me. Another comment is that trust has got to be earned and it takes time. Just 2 days ago my wife questioned me if I bought anything besides gas and a drink. That's after 554 days, at first I was offended but then I realized I haven't earned that trust yet.

I have to say that with everythIng i have seen so far, it looks like im not alone with the same issues.

You really can "be quit" Alan.
It's real simple but most likely the hardest damn thing you've ever done!
We do this: ODAAT. that is: one day at a time.
Do or do not...there is no try!
Read all you can in here.
You've got to do this for YOU and only You.
IF you do it for the wife, then when things are not perfect with the wife, you'll cave, guarenteed!
Do this for YOU brother...because YOU are worth it!
You're another Addict...just like us.
I dipped 30 yrs, 1-2 cans a day. Never had a stoppage. This is my first an last QUIT. I do this the KTC way. It has saved my life and has enabled my to be a better husband and father, not to mention it has made my job easier.
At day 502 I can say that it is great to have my freedom back from the nictoine bitch!
All you have to do is quit Today. Just Today Alan.
Tomorrow is not real and we don't do the past.
Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the Present.
Post Roll Alan, Keep your word all day, wake in the a.m. and repeat.
I also have this confidence that since I did this, I can do anything -mcarmo44

Caving is NOT an option. ~KTC Quitter

The Guys @ KTC may not be the cream of the crop of Mental Health... But if you wanna quit NIC for good and all ... these crazy bastards are all the support you will ever need!! - cmark

-'Stop being a pussy and quit' Tarpon17

Keeping my jaw and tongue, I like them. ~30isEnuff
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wmcatty
Member Avatar
Quit Wizard
[ *  *  *  * ]
Alan, nice job of posting roll early today. We post it every day, rain or shine. That is our admission ticket to KTC and the map to the path of quit. Simple. You have been given some pretty sound advice so far from some folks that know of what they speak. Take it to heart. Read all you can and prepare yourself for the first few days of walking down the quit path...it has some bumps in the path, but it is navigable. Now look up at the top right hand side of this page and you will see Inbox(1). Open the tab and you will find a personal message from me with my telephone number. Call me before you decide to get a can "one last time"...deal?
"Life's tough......It's even tougher if you're stupid."
-John Wayne
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Radman
Member Avatar
Never again..... for any reason.
[ *  *  *  * ]
30isEnuff
Oct 8, 2013, 10:18 am
Alan
Oct 8, 2013, 9:08 am
Wt57
Oct 8, 2013, 7:47 am
Radman
Oct 8, 2013, 7:36 am
Welcome.  The posters below have made some good points. 

Man, I'm no professional, but it seems to me that you and your wife may have some other issues besides just the dip.  I mean that sincerely, and I hope it doesn't come across as me being a jerk.  I know a lot of guys who dipped for a long time while there wives absolutely despised the addiction.  I was in that group.  She hated it.  She knew what it did.  But would she leave me (or even threaten to do so) because of it?  Not sure why, but hell no.  Same goes for all of the other guys I knew.

I point out that observation for a few reasons.  Quitting prompted me to change a whole bunch of things in my life.  All for the better.  I reevaluated a bunch of relationships and personal attitudes toward things.  I hope that you can do the same thing. 

If you are quitting because your wife is forcing you to, then your relationship with her is in jeopardy.  Same goes for your children.  You are going to have some tough mental battles during the next few months, and the addiction will lash out. Decide right now that you are quitting for YOU, because your life and health depend on it.  Our families didn't make us addicts, so they shouldn't be the target of any rage that may happen.  Bring it here.  We can handle it.

Shoot me a PM if I can help you any way.  Glad you're here.

Welcome aboard Alan. My wife hated my dipping, my sneaking and my lying to her for 33 years. I made the promises and really did want to be a better husband and father but I'm an addict and pure will power wasn't enough. The brotherhood and accountability will help you as it has me. Another comment is that trust has got to be earned and it takes time. Just 2 days ago my wife questioned me if I bought anything besides gas and a drink. That's after 554 days, at first I was offended but then I realized I haven't earned that trust yet.

I have to say that with everythIng i have seen so far, it looks like im not alone with the same issues.

You really can "be quit" Alan.
It's real simple but most likely the hardest damn thing you've ever done!
We do this: ODAAT. that is: one day at a time.
Do or do not...there is no try!
Read all you can in here.
You've got to do this for YOU and only You.
IF you do it for the wife, then when things are not perfect with the wife, you'll cave, guarenteed!
Do this for YOU brother...because YOU are worth it!
You're another Addict...just like us.
I dipped 30 yrs, 1-2 cans a day. Never had a stoppage. This is my first an last QUIT. I do this the KTC way. It has saved my life and has enabled my to be a better husband and father, not to mention it has made my job easier.
At day 502 I can say that it is great to have my freedom back from the nictoine bitch!
All you have to do is quit Today. Just Today Alan.
Tomorrow is not real and we don't do the past.
Today is a Gift, that's why it's called the Present.
Post Roll Alan, Keep your word all day, wake in the a.m. and repeat.

^^^^^ The gospel, in plain English.

Alan, you're absolutely right. We have amazing similarities. There are no special butterflies. I think that's why this place works. Even thought our paths and lifestyles are completely diverse, we share common ground and past failures. It's apparent on this site, but even more so in person. I've made some friends here and met quite a few members. It's quite baffling.
Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul.

HOF 12-23-2010 Read my HOF speech
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