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Mark4; Take 2
Topic Started: Mar 11 2014, 04:27 PM (2,888 Views)
30isEnuff
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Thumblewort
Nov 12 2014, 04:05 PM
Mark4
Nov 12 2014, 03:58 PM
There are things I am avoiding as known triggers, one of them is the movies. Being a tiny ways into this, I went to the movies to see Intersteller this weekend. About 30 minutes into it, all the while continually amazed there was actual coke in my large cup, and not spit, I started feeling really weird. I guess you could call it a panic attack. Wasn't the usual symptoms, just like uneasy panic. I didn't know whether to leave or stay or scream. Rather frightening. I recalled reading that panic attacks may happen as your brain rewires and learns to deal with life without nic. I just kept telling my self that. But it hit me hard, I finally went to the bathroom, thinking I was about to puke. I missed about an hour of the movie by the time this all played out.

No great wisdom or learning came from this, just pissed and sad, that this bitch is still stealing things from me. I can't even go to a freakin movie thanks to nic. I don't say this defeated, it just pisses me off more that I am an addict. But I do know this was a small step to getting back to where I can go see a simple flick. I am forever amazed as I go through this, at what all nicotine has really stolen from my life.
Movies were always a big trigger for me, mainly due to any movie I have seen in the theater lately is a kids flick and I am ready to hang myself. But getting angry looks for moms as I packed a lipper and spit into a cup inches from little Suzie Loo-hoo are a thing of the past, and will be for you as well. You saw a movie and didn't chew, I call that a win!
Definitely a Win! Thumblewort called it correctly!
What ever it takes to "not" put the poison in our mouths.
Maybe treat yourself to some Milk Duds at the next flick. They stick to my teeth so bad I spend an hour prying them off. LOL
You got this Mark4.
ODAAT and NAFAR
We were not born with this in our mouths.
1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems
I also have this confidence that since I did this, I can do anything -mcarmo44

Caving is NOT an option. ~KTC Quitter

The Guys @ KTC may not be the cream of the crop of Mental Health... But if you wanna quit NIC for good and all ... these crazy bastards are all the support you will ever need!! - cmark

-'Stop being a pussy and quit' Tarpon17

Keeping my jaw and tongue, I like them. ~30isEnuff
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Raider
Member Avatar
Imma Quitter!!!
[ *  *  * ]
30isEnuff
Nov 12 2014, 04:51 PM
Thumblewort
Nov 12 2014, 04:05 PM
Mark4
Nov 12 2014, 03:58 PM
There are things I am avoiding as known triggers, one of them is the movies. Being a tiny ways into this, I went to the movies to see Intersteller this weekend. About 30 minutes into it, all the while continually amazed there was actual coke in my large cup, and not spit, I started feeling really weird. I guess you could call it a panic attack. Wasn't the usual symptoms, just like uneasy panic. I didn't know whether to leave or stay or scream. Rather frightening. I recalled reading that panic attacks may happen as your brain rewires and learns to deal with life without nic. I just kept telling my self that. But it hit me hard, I finally went to the bathroom, thinking I was about to puke. I missed about an hour of the movie by the time this all played out.

No great wisdom or learning came from this, just pissed and sad, that this bitch is still stealing things from me. I can't even go to a freakin movie thanks to nic. I don't say this defeated, it just pisses me off more that I am an addict. But I do know this was a small step to getting back to where I can go see a simple flick. I am forever amazed as I go through this, at what all nicotine has really stolen from my life.
Movies were always a big trigger for me, mainly due to any movie I have seen in the theater lately is a kids flick and I am ready to hang myself. But getting angry looks for moms as I packed a lipper and spit into a cup inches from little Suzie Loo-hoo are a thing of the past, and will be for you as well. You saw a movie and didn't chew, I call that a win!
Definitely a Win! Thumblewort called it correctly!
What ever it takes to "not" put the poison in our mouths.
Maybe treat yourself to some Milk Duds at the next flick. They stick to my teeth so bad I spend an hour prying them off. LOL
You got this Mark4.
ODAAT and NAFAR
We were not born with this in our mouths.
1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems
Glad to see you killing it this go around. Keep up the good work.
Today, I quit!!!

Quit Date: 28 Feb, 2014
HOF Date: 7 June, 2014
My HOF Speech
"The minute you really think you have the nic bitch by the balls is when she's gonna strike. Posting roll takes a moment. Answering the 3 questions and reengaging with a new group will take a lot longer, Guarandamnteed. "
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Mark4
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Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
It took 34 days, but I actually feel like the tables are turning and nic is realizing its now my bitch. Don't get me wrong, I've only progressed a tiny bit, but its the fact that I progressed at all that stokes me. How did I even get this far - oh yeah ODAAT. I won't lie and say its been pretty and theres been a LOT of times I had to be talked off the cliff. But my Quit - The NOUN is etched in stone on October 16. I just have to wake up every day and make sure I chose that outcome.

I'm no where near done with this war, and still a noob, but ya know what, TODAY i do celebrate those 34 days. I was dead-set on this when i came here, but in the back of my mind are all the doubts. But each plus one adds up. I'm jazzed for me, my family, and so thankful for the cast and crew of deliverance, otherwise known as my KTC Brothers. If we are like this in 34 days, imagine how it is at 100 or 1,000.

Edited by Mark4, Nov 18 2014, 12:43 PM.
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Bronc
Member Avatar
Where all da white women at?
[ *  *  *  * ]
Mark4
Nov 18 2014, 12:41 PM
It took 34 days, but I actually feel like the tables are turning and nic is realizing its now my bitch. Don't get me wrong, I've only progressed a tiny bit, but its the fact that I progressed at all that stokes me. How did I even get this far - oh yeah ODAAT. I won't lie and say its been pretty and theres been a LOT of times I had to be talked off the cliff. But my Quit - The NOUN is etched in stone on October 16. I just have to wake up every day and make sure I chose that outcome.

I'm no where near done with this war, and still a noob, but ya know what, TODAY i do celebrate those 34 days. I was dead-set on this when i came here, but in the back of my mind are all the doubts. But each plus one adds up. I'm jazzed for me, my family, and so thankful for the cast and crew of deliverance, otherwise known as my KTC Brothers. If we are like this in 34 days, imagine how it is at 100 or 1,000.

Proud of you my friend. A man of honor and integrity is being formed each and every day. A man that your wife and kids will get to have around and be proud of. And you get to feel it because you aren't mired in the lies of your addiction. The truth has set you free, now keep on walking in that truth and build it and protect it like a badass.
"This is not a try and try again system." ~ Duathman
“Until you want to quit as badly as you wanted to breathe, you’ll never be successful. It has to be the single most important thing in your life to the exclusion of all other distractions. When you can achieve that, you will not only be quit, you will remain quit.”
“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.” - Ivan Turgenev

Quit Date: 3/14/2014
HOF Group: June 2014
Quitters I've met in person: BBJ, AppleJacks, BretLees, Zeno, ZillahCowboy, Sixer, SirDerek, 2mch2lv4, Mike McCarmo44, Luby, Rocketman, Keddy, dforbes, kdip, theo3wood, Sporticus, MonsterEMT, Sam83, BaitBanjo, Boelker63, Scowick, Hydro, LancefromSD, BigWhiteBeast, Chewie, TCope, MN_Ben, RC, Cbird, TXTaco1, QuitSpit, Cavman, BTDogboy, CLampy, ChrisTKE, Basshaug, THansen, Greenspidey, Cmark, 30YrAddict, Wastepanel, E&CsDad, Franpro
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CBird65
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Only dead fish swim w the stream
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Bronc
Nov 20 2014, 02:47 PM
Mark4
Nov 18 2014, 12:41 PM
It took 34 days, but I actually feel like the tables are turning and nic is realizing its now my bitch. Don't get me wrong, I've only progressed a tiny bit, but its the fact that I progressed at all that stokes me. How did I even get this far - oh yeah ODAAT. I won't lie and say its been pretty and theres been a LOT of times I had to be talked off the cliff. But my Quit - The NOUN is etched in stone on October 16. I just have to wake up every day and make sure I chose that outcome.

I'm no where near done with this war, and still a noob, but ya know what, TODAY i do celebrate those 34 days. I was dead-set on this when i came here, but in the back of my mind are all the doubts. But each plus one adds up. I'm jazzed for me, my family, and so thankful for the cast and crew of deliverance, otherwise known as my KTC Brothers. If we are like this in 34 days, imagine how it is at 100 or 1,000.

Proud of you my friend. A man of honor and integrity is being formed each and every day. A man that your wife and kids will get to have around and be proud of. And you get to feel it because you aren't mired in the lies of your addiction. The truth has set you free, now keep on walking in that truth and build it and protect it like a badass.
'oh yeah'
Like most things in life, if we determine to have a positive mental attitude ain't nothing gonna derail you!

Believe Me

FLOOR 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23


Make Your Decision of Destination
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Derk40
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OWN IT... OR BE OWNED!
[ *  *  *  * ]
CBird65
Nov 21 2014, 07:02 AM
Bronc
Nov 20 2014, 02:47 PM
Mark4
Nov 18 2014, 12:41 PM
It took 34 days, but I actually feel like the tables are turning and nic is realizing its now my bitch. Don't get me wrong, I've only progressed a tiny bit, but its the fact that I progressed at all that stokes me. How did I even get this far - oh yeah ODAAT. I won't lie and say its been pretty and theres been a LOT of times I had to be talked off the cliff. But my Quit - The NOUN is etched in stone on October 16. I just have to wake up every day and make sure I chose that outcome.

I'm no where near done with this war, and still a noob, but ya know what, TODAY i do celebrate those 34 days. I was dead-set on this when i came here, but in the back of my mind are all the doubts. But each plus one adds up. I'm jazzed for me, my family, and so thankful for the cast and crew of deliverance, otherwise known as my KTC Brothers. If we are like this in 34 days, imagine how it is at 100 or 1,000.

Proud of you my friend. A man of honor and integrity is being formed each and every day. A man that your wife and kids will get to have around and be proud of. And you get to feel it because you aren't mired in the lies of your addiction. The truth has set you free, now keep on walking in that truth and build it and protect it like a badass.
'oh yeah'
Like most things in life, if we determine to have a positive mental attitude ain't nothing gonna derail you!

Good stuff. Glimpses of total freedom are very motivational. Enjoy it! Remember that you only need to worry about today. Own the day! Keep it up!
Quit date: 6/23/2013
HOF Date: 9/30/2013

HOF Speech
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Mark4
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
I started a new business about a year ago. And, its been a long hard year. Things are dire, probably going to lose it all, financially and professionally. I’m tired, defeated, angry, doubting myself, my leadership, and fearing for my family. And then my quit stands there asking for 100% from me when there’s just nothing left. Each day lately, I force myself here and engage, but its like trying to make small talk while your house is on fire all around you. Feels kinda fake.

Yesterday was a really bad day dealing with all this. For some reason last night, I shot out a text to my group and opened up about this to them. I feared doing that, as it is so personal. After discussing why our name changed to “Circle Jerks”, it got serious. In seconds all of them were texting away about what’s going on, how to help, and just being there. They don’t know it, but half the time I sat there teared up reading their words of encouragement, concern, support and some inappropriate ghey offers. Then today, my old June gang shows up in force, text bombing me. I don’t even know how they found out. But it was awesome and powerful and humbling. They will never know what a pick-me-up that was. It’s hard to stay down when that many people are trying to lift your sorry ass up.

Last night, my quit evolved. It got real and personal. Things were said I’d expect from life long friends. Today, I came in to work not only supported to quit, but supported to face life. How does this happen? We are just random people who landed in groups. But its like we’ve been buds for years. We couldn’t be any different. This addiction that made us all bitches, also makes us tight fighting for our freedom. KTC is an amazing tool, but it’s the other addicts who stand with you that is the secret sauce here.

If you only know people here casually and only do your KTC duties, you are missing the boat. I’ve found a treasure here that goes well beyond ditching a rancid tin. Rather than defeated, bored and in-a-slump, I’m jazzed about these goofy people and deeply sincere about staying true to them. It’s a bright spot in the quit and in the midst of terribly bad days. I went from annoyed at all the texts all day, to finding myself always in touch with them and whats up in their world. This binds us. There’s no way I can face them with a fail – its now far too personal.

I love and thank my Circle Jerks, the June 2014 crew, and all the Turtles who blew up my phone the past 24 hours. I encourage you all to go get some of this, its everywhere. Enough serious talk for now.
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Raider
Member Avatar
Imma Quitter!!!
[ *  *  * ]
Mark4
Nov 21 2014, 07:15 PM
I started a new business about a year ago. And, its been a long hard year. Things are dire, probably going to lose it all, financially and professionally. I’m tired, defeated, angry, doubting myself, my leadership, and fearing for my family. And then my quit stands there asking for 100% from me when there’s just nothing left. Each day lately, I force myself here and engage, but its like trying to make small talk while your house is on fire all around you. Feels kinda fake.

Yesterday was a really bad day dealing with all this. For some reason last night, I shot out a text to my group and opened up about this to them. I feared doing that, as it is so personal. After discussing why our name changed to “Circle Jerks”, it got serious. In seconds all of them were texting away about what’s going on, how to help, and just being there. They don’t know it, but half the time I sat there teared up reading their words of encouragement, concern, support and some inappropriate ghey offers. Then today, my old June gang shows up in force, text bombing me. I don’t even know how they found out. But it was awesome and powerful and humbling. They will never know what a pick-me-up that was. It’s hard to stay down when that many people are trying to lift your sorry ass up.

Last night, my quit evolved. It got real and personal. Things were said I’d expect from life long friends. Today, I came in to work not only supported to quit, but supported to face life. How does this happen? We are just random people who landed in groups. But its like we’ve been buds for years. We couldn’t be any different. This addiction that made us all bitches, also makes us tight fighting for our freedom. KTC is an amazing tool, but it’s the other addicts who stand with you that is the secret sauce here.

If you only know people here casually and only do your KTC duties, you are missing the boat. I’ve found a treasure here that goes well beyond ditching a rancid tin. Rather than defeated, bored and in-a-slump, I’m jazzed about these goofy people and deeply sincere about staying true to them. It’s a bright spot in the quit and in the midst of terribly bad days. I went from annoyed at all the texts all day, to finding myself always in touch with them and whats up in their world. This binds us. There’s no way I can face them with a fail – its now far too personal.

I love and thank my Circle Jerks, the June 2014 crew, and all the Turtles who blew up my phone the past 24 hours. I encourage you all to go get some of this, its everywhere. Enough serious talk for now.
Sounds like you are winning. Keep it up. We are here for ya.
Today, I quit!!!

Quit Date: 28 Feb, 2014
HOF Date: 7 June, 2014
My HOF Speech
"The minute you really think you have the nic bitch by the balls is when she's gonna strike. Posting roll takes a moment. Answering the 3 questions and reengaging with a new group will take a lot longer, Guarandamnteed. "
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Maxjohnson
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Raider
Nov 21 2014, 09:11 PM
Mark4
Nov 21 2014, 07:15 PM
I started a new business about a year ago. And, its been a long hard year. Things are dire, probably going to lose it all, financially and professionally. I’m tired, defeated, angry, doubting myself, my leadership, and fearing for my family. And then my quit stands there asking for 100% from me when there’s just nothing left. Each day lately, I force myself here and engage, but its like trying to make small talk while your house is on fire all around you. Feels kinda fake.

Yesterday was a really bad day dealing with all this. For some reason last night, I shot out a text to my group and opened up about this to them. I feared doing that, as it is so personal. After discussing why our name changed to “Circle Jerks”, it got serious. In seconds all of them were texting away about what’s going on, how to help, and just being there. They don’t know it, but half the time I sat there teared up reading their words of encouragement, concern, support and some inappropriate ghey offers. Then today, my old June gang shows up in force, text bombing me. I don’t even know how they found out. But it was awesome and powerful and humbling. They will never know what a pick-me-up that was. It’s hard to stay down when that many people are trying to lift your sorry ass up.

Last night, my quit evolved. It got real and personal. Things were said I’d expect from life long friends. Today, I came in to work not only supported to quit, but supported to face life. How does this happen? We are just random people who landed in groups. But its like we’ve been buds for years. We couldn’t be any different. This addiction that made us all bitches, also makes us tight fighting for our freedom. KTC is an amazing tool, but it’s the other addicts who stand with you that is the secret sauce here.

If you only know people here casually and only do your KTC duties, you are missing the boat. I’ve found a treasure here that goes well beyond ditching a rancid tin. Rather than defeated, bored and in-a-slump, I’m jazzed about these goofy people and deeply sincere about staying true to them. It’s a bright spot in the quit and in the midst of terribly bad days. I went from annoyed at all the texts all day, to finding myself always in touch with them and whats up in their world. This binds us. There’s no way I can face them with a fail – its now far too personal.

I love and thank my Circle Jerks, the June 2014 crew, and all the Turtles who blew up my phone the past 24 hours. I encourage you all to go get some of this, its everywhere. Enough serious talk for now.
Sounds like you are winning. Keep it up. We are here for ya.
We are here yes we are. Quit on
Quit Date 3/18/14
HOF Date 6/25/14
2nd Floor 10/3/14
3rd Floor 1/11/15
4th Floor 4/21/15
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Derk40
Member Avatar
OWN IT... OR BE OWNED!
[ *  *  *  * ]
Maxjohnson
Nov 21 2014, 09:51 PM
Raider
Nov 21 2014, 09:11 PM
Mark4
Nov 21 2014, 07:15 PM
I started a new business about a year ago. And, its been a long hard year. Things are dire, probably going to lose it all, financially and professionally. I’m tired, defeated, angry, doubting myself, my leadership, and fearing for my family. And then my quit stands there asking for 100% from me when there’s just nothing left. Each day lately, I force myself here and engage, but its like trying to make small talk while your house is on fire all around you. Feels kinda fake.

Yesterday was a really bad day dealing with all this. For some reason last night, I shot out a text to my group and opened up about this to them. I feared doing that, as it is so personal. After discussing why our name changed to “Circle Jerks”, it got serious. In seconds all of them were texting away about what’s going on, how to help, and just being there. They don’t know it, but half the time I sat there teared up reading their words of encouragement, concern, support and some inappropriate ghey offers. Then today, my old June gang shows up in force, text bombing me. I don’t even know how they found out. But it was awesome and powerful and humbling. They will never know what a pick-me-up that was. It’s hard to stay down when that many people are trying to lift your sorry ass up.

Last night, my quit evolved. It got real and personal. Things were said I’d expect from life long friends. Today, I came in to work not only supported to quit, but supported to face life. How does this happen? We are just random people who landed in groups. But its like we’ve been buds for years. We couldn’t be any different. This addiction that made us all bitches, also makes us tight fighting for our freedom. KTC is an amazing tool, but it’s the other addicts who stand with you that is the secret sauce here.

If you only know people here casually and only do your KTC duties, you are missing the boat. I’ve found a treasure here that goes well beyond ditching a rancid tin. Rather than defeated, bored and in-a-slump, I’m jazzed about these goofy people and deeply sincere about staying true to them. It’s a bright spot in the quit and in the midst of terribly bad days. I went from annoyed at all the texts all day, to finding myself always in touch with them and whats up in their world. This binds us. There’s no way I can face them with a fail – its now far too personal.

I love and thank my Circle Jerks, the June 2014 crew, and all the Turtles who blew up my phone the past 24 hours. I encourage you all to go get some of this, its everywhere. Enough serious talk for now.
Sounds like you are winning. Keep it up. We are here for ya.
We are here yes we are. Quit on
Accountability + Brotherhood = Success

That Brotherhood part of the equation is no joke. Without the 2 pieces on the left side of that equation there is no success.

You can do this. Hang strong. Quit with you today!
Quit date: 6/23/2013
HOF Date: 9/30/2013

HOF Speech
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Bronc
Member Avatar
Where all da white women at?
[ *  *  *  * ]
Derk40
Nov 21 2014, 10:13 PM
Maxjohnson
Nov 21 2014, 09:51 PM
Raider
Nov 21 2014, 09:11 PM
Mark4
Nov 21 2014, 07:15 PM
I started a new business about a year ago. And, its been a long hard year. Things are dire, probably going to lose it all, financially and professionally. I’m tired, defeated, angry, doubting myself, my leadership, and fearing for my family. And then my quit stands there asking for 100% from me when there’s just nothing left. Each day lately, I force myself here and engage, but its like trying to make small talk while your house is on fire all around you. Feels kinda fake.

Yesterday was a really bad day dealing with all this. For some reason last night, I shot out a text to my group and opened up about this to them. I feared doing that, as it is so personal. After discussing why our name changed to “Circle Jerks”, it got serious. In seconds all of them were texting away about what’s going on, how to help, and just being there. They don’t know it, but half the time I sat there teared up reading their words of encouragement, concern, support and some inappropriate ghey offers. Then today, my old June gang shows up in force, text bombing me. I don’t even know how they found out. But it was awesome and powerful and humbling. They will never know what a pick-me-up that was. It’s hard to stay down when that many people are trying to lift your sorry ass up.

Last night, my quit evolved. It got real and personal. Things were said I’d expect from life long friends. Today, I came in to work not only supported to quit, but supported to face life. How does this happen? We are just random people who landed in groups. But its like we’ve been buds for years. We couldn’t be any different. This addiction that made us all bitches, also makes us tight fighting for our freedom. KTC is an amazing tool, but it’s the other addicts who stand with you that is the secret sauce here.

If you only know people here casually and only do your KTC duties, you are missing the boat. I’ve found a treasure here that goes well beyond ditching a rancid tin. Rather than defeated, bored and in-a-slump, I’m jazzed about these goofy people and deeply sincere about staying true to them. It’s a bright spot in the quit and in the midst of terribly bad days. I went from annoyed at all the texts all day, to finding myself always in touch with them and whats up in their world. This binds us. There’s no way I can face them with a fail – its now far too personal.

I love and thank my Circle Jerks, the June 2014 crew, and all the Turtles who blew up my phone the past 24 hours. I encourage you all to go get some of this, its everywhere. Enough serious talk for now.
Sounds like you are winning. Keep it up. We are here for ya.
We are here yes we are. Quit on
Accountability + Brotherhood = Success

That Brotherhood part of the equation is no joke. Without the 2 pieces on the left side of that equation there is no success.

You can do this. Hang strong. Quit with you today!
June is strongly with you my friend. You may have to start over in your business, but that's ok. The great ones have tried and failed many times on the business side of things. You know some things you won't have to do over? I'll remind you:

1.) Going through the suck of the first 10 days.
2.) Repeating these last 35 days
3.) Writing responses to the three questions and getting gang banged
4.) Having to have your honor and integrity questioned
5.) Not being able to look your wife and kids in the eye.
6.) Hiding in guilt and shame
7.) Wallowing in self-pity
8.) Sitting around being scared you're going to die from lip cancer or worse, having half your face removed.
9.) That most awful feeling of being alone
10.) Manufacturing lies to make yourself feel better for being a liar and a cheat.


Those are just off the top of my head. You can rebuild a business and finances a lot easier than you can rebuild the man of honor, integrity and character you've become. You may not have been able to control your businesses' fate. That's just what it is. But you can totally control what you do with "who" you are.

I'm looking forward to being able to point to you to young quitters and say something like this: "Mark was going through his first 100 days of quit when his business went in the shitter and it bankrupted him. He didn't give up the quit. He fought and pressed on and is now a badass quitter helping others." That's a good ending to this story Mark. I wish I got to write it for you but only you get to write it. We're here. Do not let losing a business make you lose a bunch of friends. That's just not how it works.
"This is not a try and try again system." ~ Duathman
“Until you want to quit as badly as you wanted to breathe, you’ll never be successful. It has to be the single most important thing in your life to the exclusion of all other distractions. When you can achieve that, you will not only be quit, you will remain quit.”
“If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.” - Ivan Turgenev

Quit Date: 3/14/2014
HOF Group: June 2014
Quitters I've met in person: BBJ, AppleJacks, BretLees, Zeno, ZillahCowboy, Sixer, SirDerek, 2mch2lv4, Mike McCarmo44, Luby, Rocketman, Keddy, dforbes, kdip, theo3wood, Sporticus, MonsterEMT, Sam83, BaitBanjo, Boelker63, Scowick, Hydro, LancefromSD, BigWhiteBeast, Chewie, TCope, MN_Ben, RC, Cbird, TXTaco1, QuitSpit, Cavman, BTDogboy, CLampy, ChrisTKE, Basshaug, THansen, Greenspidey, Cmark, 30YrAddict, Wastepanel, E&CsDad, Franpro
Introduction:
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Mark4
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Well, day 50 is here. 50 days ago this seemed like an eternity. I know thats a milestone but it sort of gets lost among my other trials with work. My quit continues to be a battle for my attention against business problems. Its all really odd how the quit and the business failure started at the same time and how much of a battle its been to handle both. They say there is never a good time to quit, ain't that some truth. There are more than a few really bad days, where I just long for relief and escape, anything to ease this up. Frustration also pushes me to think about ditching the only thing I can change, the choice to use nic. I can't change, speed up, or slow down whats happening with the business, but I could just cave and mitigate that stress. Yeah, I fell for that before, but it still fills my head as a real option.

Despite the quit symptoms and mental war, the quit isn't optional, it's something I hold on to, because I can. Its nearly the only thing I can control anymore, its a choice. Fallout from the business is out of my control and it is what it is. But quitting is in my control and my daily victory I hold dear, in a season where there aren't many victories. I NEED that daily victory. I NEED the accountability and friendship with the guys in my text group and across KTC. I NEED to be plugged into something bigger than myself. Quitting and you lovable retards who quit with me are a huge sanity check in a crazy time, despite the significant fight that is staying quit. Nothing would be worse right now than to lose my only victory and let down quitters, I can't even imagine how bad that would be in my soul. So no, its not an option now, its not an option later. No one, especially me, is going to forfeit this victory.
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rdad
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Attention all planets of the solar federation......... I have assumed control.....
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Mark4
Dec 4 2014, 01:26 PM
Well, day 50 is here. 50 days ago this seemed like an eternity. I know thats a milestone but it sort of gets lost among my other trials with work. My quit continues to be a battle for my attention against business problems. Its all really odd how the quit and the business failure started at the same time and how much of a battle its been to handle both. They say there is never a good time to quit, ain't that some truth. There are more than a few really bad days, where I just long for relief and escape, anything to ease this up. Frustration also pushes me to think about ditching the only thing I can change, the choice to use nic. I can't change, speed up, or slow down whats happening with the business, but I could just cave and mitigate that stress. Yeah, I fell for that before, but it still fills my head as a real option.

Despite the quit symptoms and mental war, the quit isn't optional, it's something I hold on to, because I can. Its nearly the only thing I can control anymore, its a choice. Fallout from the business is out of my control and it is what it is. But quitting is in my control and my daily victory I hold dear, in a season where there aren't many victories. I NEED that daily victory. I NEED the accountability and friendship with the guys in my text group and across KTC. I NEED to be plugged into something bigger than myself. Quitting and you lovable retards who quit with me are a huge sanity check in a crazy time, despite the significant fight that is staying quit. Nothing would be worse right now than to lose my only victory and let down quitters, I can't even imagine how bad that would be in my soul. So no, its not an option now, its not an option later. No one, especially me, is going to forfeit this victory.
Well I just read your whole intro Mark and I can tell you that my quit is stronger after reading it. So thanks for sharing all that. You are going through a hard time and I applaud you for knowing that nic wont make other problems go away. 50 days of freedom is a great accomplishment. Keep quitting brother and you will see that things will get better on all fronts. I am quitting my ass off with you today!
ODAAT....Learn It.....Know It.....Live It
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Raider
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Imma Quitter!!!
[ *  *  * ]
rdad
Dec 4 2014, 02:26 PM
Mark4
Dec 4 2014, 01:26 PM
Well, day 50 is here. 50 days ago this seemed like an eternity. I know thats a milestone but it sort of gets lost among my other trials with work. My quit continues to be a battle for my attention against business problems. Its all really odd how the quit and the business failure started at the same time and how much of a battle its been to handle both. They say there is never a good time to quit, ain't that some truth. There are more than a few really bad days, where I just long for relief and escape, anything to ease this up. Frustration also pushes me to think about ditching the only thing I can change, the choice to use nic. I can't change, speed up, or slow down whats happening with the business, but I could just cave and mitigate that stress. Yeah, I fell for that before, but it still fills my head as a real option.

Despite the quit symptoms and mental war, the quit isn't optional, it's something I hold on to, because I can. Its nearly the only thing I can control anymore, its a choice. Fallout from the business is out of my control and it is what it is. But quitting is in my control and my daily victory I hold dear, in a season where there aren't many victories. I NEED that daily victory. I NEED the accountability and friendship with the guys in my text group and across KTC. I NEED to be plugged into something bigger than myself. Quitting and you lovable retards who quit with me are a huge sanity check in a crazy time, despite the significant fight that is staying quit. Nothing would be worse right now than to lose my only victory and let down quitters, I can't even imagine how bad that would be in my soul. So no, its not an option now, its not an option later. No one, especially me, is going to forfeit this victory.
Well I just read your whole intro Mark and I can tell you that my quit is stronger after reading it. So thanks for sharing all that. You are going through a hard time and I applaud you for knowing that nic wont make other problems go away. 50 days of freedom is a great accomplishment. Keep quitting brother and you will see that things will get better on all fronts. I am quitting my ass off with you today!
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' Nicely Put, Quitter 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
Today, I quit!!!

Quit Date: 28 Feb, 2014
HOF Date: 7 June, 2014
My HOF Speech
"The minute you really think you have the nic bitch by the balls is when she's gonna strike. Posting roll takes a moment. Answering the 3 questions and reengaging with a new group will take a lot longer, Guarandamnteed. "
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Mark4
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Quit Ninja
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Day 76. And this quit has been more of a war than I ever imagined. I suppose the theme of my quit has been "excuses". Back when I dropped out of my first "stop", it was due to massive financial pressures with my business and at home. We all have excuses to stop quitting, but mine seemed worse and justifiable. This mess I'm in isn't simply a days or weeks event, its been a long slide down over the course of a year. I constantly fight those thoughts that, this is truly a good excuse to bow out and give up, not only my quit, but on everything.

Today, I find myself not fearing but actually living my worst fears, as the business did fail and collapse. I am now starting over from square one. Not exactly a place I planned on being at this point in my life. All this has made my quit something different as I am not only battling the usual 70's craves and other "typical" cycles. But rather, those typical quit struggles along with the crippling stress, financial strains and personal doubt. If there was ever an excuse to bail out, this is it.

But I am learning that all this crap can be a good excuse, or it can be a way forward. All the things we say in regards to quitting, aren't just applicable to quitting, they are applicable to life. The fight to keep your word, to endure, to embrace the suck, to focus on just one day at a time, to win... these have all been instrumental in my fight with nic and in life. This could all be a great excuses or they could be forging a new man. I wake up each day and chose the later. I post roll not only to make a promise about nic, I post it to stand up and own another day and rebuild.

Yesterday, another fabulous excuse presented itself when i found myself in the ER in the cardiac wing. I learned I had a Pre Atrial Contraction problem with my heart. As I laid there with all those wires monitoring me and an IV drip going, i got so angry thinking, not yet another kick in the face. How I can't take yet another thing. Yet, I quickly found my KTC toolbox kicking in, I started texting my group what was going on, I told myself ODAAT, and I wanted to win and wouldn't be knocked down by this either.

There are always going to be perfectly good excuses to bail out. Not only with nic, but with my marriage, with my kids, with work, with relationships, and a thousand other areas of life. Quitting is a huge win, but taking those skills and learning to shoot down excuses and stay the course in life, is a HUGE bonus prize of this quit.



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