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Mark4; Take 2
Topic Started: Mar 11 2014, 04:27 PM (2,890 Views)
grizzlyhasclaws
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The Elusive Sasquatch
[ *  *  *  * ]
Raider
Oct 16 2014, 04:59 PM
Not What's different but What are you going to do differently? You need to have a plan, what happens when the wife snaps at ya? What happens when work has issues? What happens when the dog craps on the carpet? How about a spilled pop? How are you gonna react? You need to have it figured out what your plan of attack will be. You also need to know how to get there. Let me give you some pointers: 1). get phone numbers 2). Use Chat 3). Talk to new quitters 4). Text buddies to see how THEY are doing 5). Call someone when you are feeling crappy 6). Thinking about caving? Call someone and ask for permission. The list goes on. Get it???? You gotta be involved here or you are setting yourself up for another cave.
^^^This is the "how". Raider nailed it. Solidify your quit. Get some quit brothers. I've got some and they are the reason I'm free.
'FU' Proud FFFoQer - February 2014 'FU'

'FU' Free from dog shit! 'FU'

ODAAT & NAFAR
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Mark4
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Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Is it cool to go post this in the January group? I don't want to make any assumptions. But yeah, I need a group fast.

Thank you for the direction. I feel terrible, not just withdrawing, but for letting you down and for sitting at the starting line again.

Raider, I'll call a freakin ambulance before I'll cave. Hollow words from me, but I'm done being jerked around by life and a can. I can't control what comes tomorrow, but I can chose what goes in my body. Another stupidly simple revelation. And I'm eager to build that network and get involved. I just thought it appropriate to come and ask first.
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Raider
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Imma Quitter!!!
[ *  *  * ]
Mark4
Oct 16 2014, 05:21 PM
Is it cool to go post this in the January group? I don't want to make any assumptions. But yeah, I need a group fast.

Thank you for the direction. I feel terrible, not just withdrawing, but for letting you down and for sitting at the starting line again.

Raider, I'll call a freakin ambulance before I'll cave. Hollow words from me, but I'm done being jerked around by life and a can. I can't control what comes tomorrow, but I can chose what goes in my body. Another stupidly simple revelation. And I'm eager to build that network and get involved. I just thought it appropriate to come and ask first.
Definitely post in January. Maybe type it all up in Word then copy and paste into the group. Like I said in my text, Looks like you may finally be ready.
Today, I quit!!!

Quit Date: 28 Feb, 2014
HOF Date: 7 June, 2014
My HOF Speech
"The minute you really think you have the nic bitch by the balls is when she's gonna strike. Posting roll takes a moment. Answering the 3 questions and reengaging with a new group will take a lot longer, Guarandamnteed. "
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Bombero
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Former 'Ninja Dipper,' Current Beserker Quitter
[ *  *  * ]
Raider
Oct 16 2014, 05:28 PM
Mark4
Oct 16 2014, 05:21 PM
Is it cool to go post this in the January group? I don't want to make any assumptions. But yeah, I need a group fast.

Thank you for the direction. I feel terrible, not just withdrawing, but for letting you down and for sitting at the starting line again.

Raider, I'll call a freakin ambulance before I'll cave. Hollow words from me, but I'm done being jerked around by life and a can. I can't control what comes tomorrow, but I can chose what goes in my body. Another stupidly simple revelation. And I'm eager to build that network and get involved. I just thought it appropriate to come and ask first.
Definitely post in January. Maybe type it all up in Word then copy and paste into the group. Like I said in my text, Looks like you may finally be ready.
If you're in and dedicated to the quit then january awaits...but don't come in unless you're burning every bridge back to nic. No excuses

I hope to see you on roll
I was a ninja dipper, but I will have a berserker quit - Here's some encouragement

NEVER Ring the Bell! Watch this. It will change your life.

When a crave hits watch this.

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind Always."

”Gentlemen, we are going to relentlessly chase perfection, knowing full well we will not catch it, because nothing is perfect. But we are going to relentlessly chase it, because in the process we will catch excellence. I am not remotely interested in just being good. ” ~ Vince Lombardi

"We all have our own demons that we face on a day to day basis. Some we can talk to others about. Some that we have to work through on our own. ...the nic bitch continues to knock on the doors my friends. Stay strong, stay vigilant." - Fireheeler; 6/11/14 in AUG14

Never cured, but quitting like this

What cost is too high?

Addict Life
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Done4Me
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Go Pack!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Mark4
Oct 16 2014, 04:04 PM
Quitting was a verb to me, something you are doing and working on really hard and it has its good days and bad. I was quitting hard as I could, which means the quit is subject to how things are. But it's really a noun - that specific point where it ends - without exception.
Could be the most reflective dig deep intro I've read. Well done.

The three sentences I quoted from your intro are so very true. I hadn't thought of it in this way before. That's what I like about this place. We're here to quit. Part of that is the actual quit, getting through the suck, fog, craves. The hardest part but happens relatively quickly.

The part that takes real long term work is building the toolbox and filling it with quit knowledge in order to sustain the quit. You helped me with that today. Thanks.
Edited by Done4Me, Oct 16 2014, 06:14 PM.
Quit Date: May 5, 2014
HOF Speech
August 2014 Triple A Brass Ballers
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quitspit
quitspit
[ *  *  * ]
Done4Me
Oct 16 2014, 06:10 PM
Mark4
Oct 16 2014, 04:04 PM
Quitting was a verb to me, something you are doing and working on really hard and it has its good days and bad. I was quitting hard as I could, which means the quit is subject to how things are. But it's really a noun - that specific point where it ends - without exception.
Could be the most reflective dig deep intro I've read. Well done.

The three sentences I quoted from your intro are so very true. I hadn't thought of it in this way before. That's what I like about this place. We're here to quit. Part of that is the actual quit, getting through the suck, fog, craves. The hardest part but happens relatively quickly.

The part that takes real long term work is building the toolbox and filling it with quit knowledge in order to sustain the quit. You helped me with that today. Thanks.
Amen. Definitive. Quit.
And then we walked on down the halls.
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CBird65
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Only dead fish swim w the stream
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
So the line has been drawn...... How are you going to protect the quit?
Believe Me

FLOOR 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23


Make Your Decision of Destination
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Mark4
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Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Cbird, i read you question and will try to apply. Right now, I just want to punch you, the ncomputer, this entire website, and Al freakin Gore for inventing the internet. Man this is jacking me up. Know what worse than day 3? Its 2 of them. How do I prtect my quit, theres the first way, As bad as this is, I just keep tjinking of my line I drew t 9PM 3 days ago and staying focussed on being quit and not go through this again.

Beyond that, I'm beggin for numbers, and staying around here every moment i can. I've got 8 numbers so far, some from the January Group and some from chat. I also gave my wife my keys and wallet. This weekend will be terrible and in the back of my mind I started to think how long it would take to run to 7-11 on foot. I'm quit and still have those thoughts - what an addict.

Thats what I got for now, this is blurry and im now pissed again,
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Tuco
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All zealous and shit.
[ *  *  *  * ]
Mark4
Oct 18 2014, 09:27 AM
Cbird, i read you question and will try to apply. Right now, I just want to punch you, the ncomputer, this entire website, and Al freakin Gore for inventing the internet. Man this is jacking me up. Know what worse than day 3? Its 2 of them. How do I prtect my quit, theres the first way, As bad as this is, I just keep tjinking of my line I drew t 9PM 3 days ago and staying focussed on being quit and not go through this again.

Beyond that, I'm beggin for numbers, and staying around here every moment i can. I've got 8 numbers so far, some from the January Group and some from chat. I also gave my wife my keys and wallet. This weekend will be terrible and in the back of my mind I started to think how long it would take to run to 7-11 on foot. I'm quit and still have those thoughts - what an addict.

Thats what I got for now, this is blurry and im now pissed again,
Embrace the rage. Embrace the fact that your addiction is doing everything in its power to get you to do something that you just won't do.

You've got my digits now, too.

This is what QLF is all about.
One is one too many. One more is never enough.

Be the ball, danny.
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Raider
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Imma Quitter!!!
[ *  *  * ]
Make sure your wife has access to the spouses section. Will help her help you.
Today, I quit!!!

Quit Date: 28 Feb, 2014
HOF Date: 7 June, 2014
My HOF Speech
"The minute you really think you have the nic bitch by the balls is when she's gonna strike. Posting roll takes a moment. Answering the 3 questions and reengaging with a new group will take a lot longer, Guarandamnteed. "
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Mark4
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Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
How can it just be lunch on Sunday? This weekend just won't end. Talk about a war by the hour.
But every 4 hours or so, I get a slight motivational boost realizing the ole nic skank is taking a smack down.

Weekend plan is holding up. Gave the wife my keys and wallet. Friday night I went to my kid's football game, a VERY long tradition of ninjaing a dip at. My legs bounced and body twitched all 4 hours but we won and are now 7-0! Friday night was terrible. Waking up to a knotted stomach and my body was aching for a pinch. I texted several KTC'rs from the game.

Saturday morning I played Call Of Duty for 4 freakin hours while drinking cranberry and pounding seeds. COD it turns out is a great time killer for this because it occupies your head. My kill to death ratio dropped because my hand-eye coordination is crap now and its hard to focus on the screen visually. Felt a little better, sort of. At lunch I was in mortal fear as we had to go to a A&M football game watching party at a friends house. Queso, chicken wings, beer... all the makings for dip. But I saw some chicken wings labeled, "ATOMIC". So when no one was looking, I would dip my finger in the sauce and rub it on my lips. Oh that burned so bad. Was sweating, and face turned beet red. So hot I almost threw up. Viola, a nic inhibitor. Had about 5 doses of Atomic. Sadly, A&M got spanked, but so did nic. Most of last night is a blur of suck.

This morning I sort of starting feeling human again, but after lunch, the symptoms came back with a vengeance. So thought I better come post something. I just want to thank nicotine for this utterly wonderful weekend. Just another "joy" of selling out my life to it. I've had to take myself back to 9PM the other night about once an hour, when I Quit - The Noun. I'd fail if I were still trying to quit - the verb. I hope everyone is holding their Quit this weekend, 9 hours left. Call me if you are tempted or just want to yell at something/someone. I may yell back though, just sayin.
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Deerslayer9688
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Quitter
[ *  * ]
Keep up the fight mark! Grass is greener on the otherside. Keep fighting! 'oh yeah'
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truetomyself
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
How are you going to protect your quit?

This answer is a little different for everyone. Here are a few things that might work for you.

1. Quit for yourself, but make your quit a part of something bigger. This is the brother/sisterhood of KTC. Got a craving? Think about letting yourself down - again. Then think about texting/calling all of your numbers to get permission to have "just one." Then think about letting all of those people down. Then you'll tell your wife. Then you'll tell your coworkers.

2. Going to do something full of triggers? Tell your quit group and tell your text group that you'r going into a crumby situation.

3. Get a bunch of substitutes. Sunflower seeds? Beef jerkey? Tea? Candy? Pure cranberry juice (not the watered down stuff)? I've tried all of them. Some work for me, some don't.

4. Cut your caffeine intake by at least half for a few months.

6. Exercise. Drop down and give yourself 20 pushups every time you feel a craving. Go jogging.

5. You're a business guy. Come up with a strategy. How about Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats that relate to your quit. This should be familiar territory for you and could be a strong way to reinforce and protect your quit.

I just sent you my digits. We might be neighbors.
You deserve the life you're willing to tolerate. - Some guy on the radio
You will NEVER regret quitting. You will ALWAYS regret caving. - NOLAQ (via gmann)
Enjoy your problems. - Rishi
...doubt your infallibility... - Ben Franklin
Grateful for what I don't have. - T. Boyd
The only people that fail after 100 days are the ones that leave KTC. - worktowin

Answers are always lame when it comes to caving. I have never heard a good reason why someone caved.... I owe it to you guys I am an addict I admit it and I will attack this differently this time because this is really making me hate nicotine the more and more I have to explain this. - Bsarno crawling back after caving

I learn from my failures and the failures of others.
My Hall of Fame speech.
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Thumblewort
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DUCK!!!!!!!
[ *  *  *  * ]
Damn Mark, your first weekend quit sounded like mine, time couldn't pass fast enough. Now you are through it, and never have to go through the SUCK again! It will get easier.....
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Mark4
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Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
The second sunday morning, what a head game. I feel myself losing the mental game, so thought I better get in here. Chat was dead, no good recent posts, so I'm going to talk to myself. Just seems like a constant back and forth between nic screaming that just one won't hurt and my vow to not use to my wife, my group and before God. I just keep going to back to 9PM october 16 - where I quit. My quit is so noble and good, its amazing that there is even any debate or war. And thats where I think nic wins so many times. It'll make us lie to those we love, and certainly in our own heads. I guess thats the ultimate struggle in here and with nic. People often say, "you made a vow", you gave "your word". Well by definition, as addicts, isn't our word pretty much trash already? If we can lie to our spouses, family and friends for decades, do you really think our word to strangers in a quit group has much power? Thats why I think the radical in-your-face extreme quitting is the ONLY way out. Drinking the KTC koolaid isn't an option, its radical and extreme enough to overcome an addicts ability to lie, cheat and steal, even from ourselves. The odds are stacked against us.

Friday was unique, I met and had lunch with a KTC member. The hour and half went by in seconds. Fascinating to meet a quitter. So much of what we say and do here, only belongs here, QLF doesn't mean a lot offline. So meeting someone from here was special because we both knew what QLF and ODAAT meant. Interesting guy and like so many others here, he wanted to get involved and do anything he could help my quit. When people do that in text its one thing when they stand in your face and offer that, its humbling beyond words.

I really like the January Group I'm in but I don't remember there being so many cavers in previous groups. Just seems like every day this past week, poof, another cave. Theres always 1 or 2 per group, but we got 8 per week. Its funny, part of me is sick and tired of the weak excuses and plain ole guys not really even trying. But then, I was one of them, so who am I to judge. But at the same time, seeing so many cavers makes me want to up my game and "not be one of them". Its already a scarlet letter to me, so by helping others be successful after caving, maybe we can take this weakness and actually finish strong, or stronger than those who didn't cave.

I now post roll in my old June Group because I was asked to. It was an odd experience, to post in there. A place I'd left. The June boys certainly showed up and bashed me when i came back here. What really shows their class, is they are now my supporters. If there is anyone who should and could write me off forever, its those guys. The real turning point for me was a post by Bronc, not just bashing or focussed on my failure, the ultimate goal of his rant was if I'd be around for my wife, my kids, etc. How can you disagree with that pure motive. I read this morning about someone bashing Bronc for being a "nazi". I know he is far from that, but he is intense. So is our enemy. Anything less than 110% intense will fail. Don't we all know this by now?

Thats enough rambling for now. Time to eat lunch and start another 4-hour battle in my head of why just-one is unacceptable. I am nervous and doubt my success at times, but that line is drawn and I am quit. So I know its just a matter of time until I can breath or live for 30 seconds without a dip being the center of the world. I just keep picturing a can of poison, and how stupid it is, to long for and want poison that bad. Nic has lost this soul, it just doesn't know yet.



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