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Dirty Little Secret; Introduction
Topic Started: May 8 2014, 08:31 PM (1,499 Views)
derv88
Member Avatar
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
Day 38 update and observations from previous week...

It's funny as my quit grows that the nic bitch still speaks to me, but her messages and timing are strategic. It comes when you least expect it. Like a thought that pops into my head telling myself "quit being such a pussy". It comes from out of nowhere, totally unexpected, and in broad daylight. I suspect this is because I have successfully separated my triggers from my previous actions and rewired my subconscious. The bitch has to find alternative routes to deliver her manipulation. The key for me is how to spot them and her, but it's not easy.

Serious challenges coming up for me, first is an annual visit to the Indy 500 for the weekend being around a bunch of addicts like myself, but full disclosure I was the last in my immediate group to KTC (but some of our group still smoke). But addiction will still be everywhere around me. Drunk, sloppy, shitfaced hillbillies with shit and cigs in their mouths will be everywhere. I will be stronger than them no doubt, but keeping myself from pulling people to the side and preaching to them about what I've learned will be my challenge.

Next challenge is more significant, the very next weekend taking my annual guys fishing trip to the UP in Michigan where everyone dips and smokes, including my best friend who I'm driving up and back with. This will be the real deal...I'm concerned and have yet to formulate my strategy but I think next weekends Indy 500 weekend will give me some tools in my toolbox on how to deal in public events like this.

Every day gets slightly better than the last. Dealing with my most serious career challenges also that started right around day 5 of my quit and continue through my quit helps strengthen me that I am able to accomplish this so far.

I've been quiet but with these next two big challenges coming up, I'll likely be reaching out more for support.

Derv
Edited by derv88, May 17 2014, 01:28 PM.
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scoot66
Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
derv88
May 17 2014, 01:25 PM
Day 38 update and observations from previous week...

It's funny as my quit grows that the nic bitch still speaks to me, but her messages and timing are strategic. It comes when you least expect it. Like a thought that pops into my head telling myself "quit being such a pussy". It comes from out of nowhere, totally unexpected, and in broad daylight. I suspect this is because I have successfully separated my triggers from my previous actions and rewired my subconscious. The bitch has to find alternative routes to deliver her manipulation. The key for me is how to spot them and her, but it's not easy.

Serious challenges coming up for me, first is an annual visit to the Indy 500 for the weekend being around a bunch of addicts like myself, but full disclosure I was the last in my immediate group to KTC (but some of our group still smoke). But addiction will still be everywhere around me. Drunk, sloppy, shitfaced hillbillies with shit and cigs in their mouths will be everywhere. I will be stronger than them no doubt, but keeping myself from pulling people to the side and preaching to them about what I've learned will be my challenge.

Next challenge is more significant, the very next weekend taking my annual guys fishing trip to the UP in Michigan where everyone dips and smokes, including my best friend who I'm driving up and back with. This will be the real deal...I'm concerned and have yet to formulate my strategy but I think next weekends Indy 500 weekend will give me some tools in my toolbox on how to deal in public events like this.

Every day gets slightly better than the last. Dealing with my most serious career challenges also that started right around day 5 of my quit and continue through my quit helps strengthen me that I am able to accomplish this so far.

I've been quiet but with these next two big challenges coming up, I'll likely be reaching out more for support.

Derv
Speaking of drunk sloppy shit facedhillbillies.....i with a bunch right at the moment. I guess as hillbilly as you can get here in washington. I am lucky cause drinking is the main source of dereliction going in here. One other guy smoking and ipicked up my sm o key mountain on the way here. Things are good derv other than i get this feeling that something is missing a lot of the time. A gnawing in my guts . I had to leave the party and walk to the local bar just because things seemed off. I know you will do fantastic at your 500 and on your up trip. Man i really don't k ow if I'd survive this without being able to come here. You probably think I'm a lunatic but thanks for the help and being there. Have a great weekend my friend.
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Thewolfe
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QFL
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Welcome to the First Floor!

Bad Ass Quitter!

Quit with you today

Wolfe

[big]Half-assed roll posters are doomed to failure.[/big]
[big]Quit Early, Quit Often. Unless you're dead, there is no excuse to miss roll.[/big]
MY HOF

04-02-2014. Quit day

[big]PROUD Member of the July DD's (2014)[/big]

"I caved hundreds of times before I came here. I will not cave again. Not because I am in control of my addiction but because I will never forget that I am NOT in control of my addiction." 30YrAddict
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Ginet
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Quit Ninja
[ *  *  * ]
It does get better, but yes, you are always going to have to deal with it. We put ourselves here....and this is the price we pay. I will pay it everyday to remain clean and quit! Use that rage to fuel your quit. You will have lows and highs as you continue but never let your guard down. Do what works...
POST ROLL
KEEP YOUR WORD
REPEAT
POST ROLL
KEEP YOUR WORD
REPEAT

Mix in USE YOUR NUMBERS at anytime......there are always plenty of hands reaching out for yours.....you just have to TAKE ONE!

Quit with you.....
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it. ~ Chinese Proverb
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. ~ Stephen R. Covey

QD 12/29/13
April 2014 Resolute
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Smeds
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Burnt Boat
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Congrats on the 2nd floor bro! Proud to be quitting EDD with you, and calling you my July DD brother.
Edited by Smeds, Oct 25 2014, 12:28 PM.
HOF Speech

The Bluebird can sing, but the Crow's got the soul.

Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are ...

HOF --- 07/21/2014
2nd Floor --- 10/29/2014
3rd Floor --- 02/06/2015
One YEAR! -- 04/13/2015
4th Floor --- 05/17/2015
5th Floor --- 08/25/2015
6th Floor --- 12/03/2015
7th Floor --- 03/12/2016
TWO YEARS --- 04/13/2016
8th Floor --- 06/20/2016
9th Floor --- 09/28/2016
Monster Quit Dick, aka: 1,000 --- 01/06/2017
THREE YEARS --- 04/13/2017
11th Floor --- 04/16/2017
12th Floor --- 03/19/2017
13th Floor --- 11/02/2017
14th Floor --- 02/10/2018
15th Floor ... 05/21/2018
July 2014 DD's

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Smeds
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Burnt Boat
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Just like the previous post ... congrats on the next 100, 3rd floor!! 'dance'
Edited by Smeds, Feb 2 2015, 09:38 AM.
HOF Speech

The Bluebird can sing, but the Crow's got the soul.

Don't get confused between my personality & my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are ...

HOF --- 07/21/2014
2nd Floor --- 10/29/2014
3rd Floor --- 02/06/2015
One YEAR! -- 04/13/2015
4th Floor --- 05/17/2015
5th Floor --- 08/25/2015
6th Floor --- 12/03/2015
7th Floor --- 03/12/2016
TWO YEARS --- 04/13/2016
8th Floor --- 06/20/2016
9th Floor --- 09/28/2016
Monster Quit Dick, aka: 1,000 --- 01/06/2017
THREE YEARS --- 04/13/2017
11th Floor --- 04/16/2017
12th Floor --- 03/19/2017
13th Floor --- 11/02/2017
14th Floor --- 02/10/2018
15th Floor ... 05/21/2018
July 2014 DD's

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Grady
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dupek
[ *  *  * ]
Smeds
Feb 2 2015, 09:38 AM
Just like the previous post ... congrats on the next 100, 3rd floor!! 'dance' <------------Smeds
Derv, congrats to my DD brother on the big 300. I look forward to seeing you on day 301. I can't dance like Smedsy so I'll just clap for ya. 'clap'




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