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| I CANNOT COP OUT: I QUIT.; Day One | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 19 2011, 11:32 PM (2,027 Views) | |
| funnylatino | May 19 2011, 11:32 PM Post #1 |
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FunnyLatino, aka FL
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Today, May 19, 2011 I quit. I have been a plagued addict for longer than I care to admit. I started chewing Skoal Mint on May 4, 1998, my first day in the field as a reserve deputy sheriff. I thought I had it under control, as most cops think they do... a little pinch here and a little pinch there. For the first few years, it took me a week or more to go through a can, as I did not chew at home, only when I was at work. Things changed slowly and I started chewing at home. As I moved through different relationships, so did my ability to tell the truth about my chewing. All of the women I dated hated that I chewed, so I kept it from them and dipped in secret. Sometimes all I could think about was getting to dip, once my girlfriend was asleep. I was fooling myself. I have since moved past that and my girlfriend of the past five years knows I chew and she never says anything. She's not my mom and expects me to be responsible for my own actions. I know she does not like it, but I'm a grown ass man and I "Should" know better. I am now a sergeant with the sheriff's office where I live and chewing skoal mint has become part of my life up until today. There are at least three deputies on my shift who chew.... dip is never far away, even when you are out. I have never had any bad dentist visits, but I know it's only a matter of time if I continue. I have associated throwing in a dip with my response to stressful situations: Burglary in progress... throw in a dip Suicide... throw in a dip Disturbance... throw in a dip Domestic Violence... throw in a dip Fight call... throw in a dip Structure fire... throw in a dip I just ate a meal... throw in a dip Reading report... throw in a dip I having problems with an employee... throw in a dip I'm tired didn't get much sleep... throw in a dip At this point "Any excuse related to stress"... throw in a dip I DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE!!!!! I want to live and be healthy. I don't want to have to worry about any minute change in my gums, lips or otherwise. I want to stop asking my friends to look at my lip and tell me if they think it looks ok or if they think there's anything cancerous visible. Seriously, I do this and I know I look like a jackass. For some reason it hasn't bothered me enough to quit. My friends and family love me and they all tell me to quit, but I have not listened. I have trained for more than 13 years to become a police officer and I have been killing myself that entire time with chew. I wear a bullet proof vest, carry a gun, work out, eat lots of mexican food, train to fight, shoot, run, drive fast, etc.... and for what, to just put a cancer causing device in my mouth. I am an idiot and I've known that for a long time. I cannot believe I just let myself chew over and over and over... I must think I am a bullet proof cop. These types of cops often get themselves killed with this type of mentality... but, it's only a little chew right? or so I would tell myself. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have tossed my can away (usually was full), only to cave hours or minutes later, finding myself driving to the local store to replace the can I just tossed out. I cannot go back and change what's happened. I have to accept where I am today and focus on not COP'IN out on my quit. Today, Day 1. I only have 2 1/2 hours until day 2. That's all I can say now. I am here. I have read lots on this site today and I will need your help. I am weak against the chew. I admit it. I am an addict and slave to can... until today... until today.......... Later |
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Strength & Honor Quit: 5/19/2011 HOF: 8/26/2011 I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. - D.H. Lawrence | |
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| Ready | May 20 2011, 12:23 AM Post #2 |
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May 2008 ROCKS! TTF
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You are not alone. You can do this. Check your (Inbox 1) upper right corner of your screen. |
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Caving is not an option, Do something else. Burn your boats! "This takes commitment, effort, accountibility and to be honest....blood, guts and nuts." - redtrain14 "Hey, snowflake, don't take a seat in the life raft if you are not serious about saving your life." - Scowick65 "Now I can walk through walls and my quit can talk to god. That's right. Crazy voodoo magic quit." - Souliman Nicotine doesn't give two shits about your strategery, and that's just a fact. Only strategy that works is promise not to use nicotine first thing every morning, keep that promise all day, rinse, repeat. - teamgreen | |
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| Romandog | May 20 2011, 12:28 AM Post #3 |
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There, in the fog bank. I thought I saw a Quit!
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Welcome to the site, Funnylatino.. You have made the right decision. You are in the August Bad Ass Quitters Group! Post Roll early.. Basically this is a promise that you will not use tobacco/nicotine in any form TODAY.. And then keep your word. Use alternatives (no tobacco/nicotine)... Gum, Sunflower seeds, cinnamon toothpicks, Hooch, Smokey Mountain, Oregon Mint, Youngs.. Don't worry about tomorrow.. Just focus on TODAY. IT WILL SUCK.. The Nicotine Slave Master will give you all sorts of reasons why you should give up and cave.. The Fog.. Headaches.. Embrace the suck and deal with it. Nicotine is out of your body in 72 hours. You can do ANYTHING one day at a time.. Given you will be in fog for the next few days it probably would be a good idea to stay off the beat, if you can. Don't need to be foggy in the head if you are going to have to deal with an armed robber. Not advocating waiting to quit, or caving.. But Cancer is one thing.. Lead poisoning is totally another. You have to make that call. I'm not a cop.. I lead a very sedate life as a programmer.. Sending you a PM.. If you need to rage, call me.. If you even think about caving, call me. If you just want to complain or talk, have questions, call me. I dipped Skoal Long Cut for 31 years.. I'm on Quit day 32.. Yes, it is worth it.. My only regret is that I didn't find this site sooner. You can do this! Romandog |
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July 2011 Tornadoes of Quit | |
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| Dchogs | May 20 2011, 03:10 AM Post #4 |
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Imposing my will
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FL- 100% right the fuck on. Skoal mint, and later grizz mint, were my mistresses for close to 14 years. Christmas in a tin, they told me. I loved that bitch. More than my wife, who hated that I dipped. More than my kids, who I would willingly ignore if I could dip in peace. This site saved me, FL. I'm not Fucking around or being dramatic. I went from at least a can a day to saying no thank you tonight (despite a ton of beers and my favorite dip time... Hanging with the boys). The thing was that I wasn't worried. I knew it would happen, and I also knew that I would keep my fucking word... To myself, to my wife, to my kids, to august '11, and to the guys (and gals) supporting my quit as religiously as I was taking it. Post roll every day... Early. Keep your word. Stay quit no matter what gets thrown at you. It's simple, but not easy. You are on the knife edge of survival, and only the truly hardcore can last. Lean on your brothers in August '11 to help you through... They will help you stay on the most narrow of paths. I'm here, I'm proud to be quit with you, and I'm ready to help you when you need it. Make sure you're man enough to ask for my help. Dch |
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Quit- 5/16/2011. One day at a time. HoF- 8/23/2011; 2nd Floor- 12/1/2011; 3rd Floor- 3/10/2012; 4th Floor- 6/18/2012; 5th Floor- 9/27/2012; 6th Floor- 1/4/2013; 7th Floor- 4/14/2013; 8th Floor- 7/23/2013; 9th Floor- 10/31/2013; 10th Floor- 2/8/2014; 11th Floor- 5/19/2014; 12th Floor- 8/27/2014; 13th Floor- 12/5/14; 14th floor- 3/15/15; 15th floor- 6/23/15; 16th floor- 10/1/15; 17th floor- 1/9/16; 18th floor- 4/18/16; 19th floor- 7/26/16; 20th floor- 11/4/16; 21st floor- 2/12/17; 22nd Floor- 5/23/17; 23rd Floor- 8/31/17; 24th Floor- 12/9/17; 25th floor- 3/19/18; 26th floor- 6/27/18 "He which hath no stomach to this fight let him depart. But we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers! For he today, that sheds his blood with me, shall always be my brother." (Wm. Shakespeare). For August '11. Who dares, wins. Stay quit... it is life or death and that is the undeniable truth. "To be driven by our appetites alone is slavery, while to obey a law that we have imposed on ourselves is freedom." Rosseau | |
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| TPhillips6026 | May 20 2011, 06:19 AM Post #5 |
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"We don't need no water, let the motherfucker BURN!
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I don't recommend Oregon Mint Snuff. It's fucking wretched. Just saying. The closest thing to skoal or grizzly for me so far is Smokey Mountain Artic Mint. Has just enough flavor with plenty of bite. You can also try prunes. They kinda serve the same spitability as chew. |
Firefighter: The Desire To Serve, The Courage To Act, The Ability To Perform.
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| loot | May 20 2011, 08:07 AM Post #6 |
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Stay away from the fakie. Gum, seeds, hard candy, etc. |
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| funnylatino | May 27 2011, 09:08 AM Post #7 |
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FunnyLatino, aka FL
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Just want to say thanks to all of you who have commented on this topic and sent me support emails. I know there are lots of cops out there, trying to quit. I have to focus on me right now and stay quit, but I hope to get to a point where I can reach out to the people I work with and get them to stop also. I am going to spring this site on them during our next briefing. Thanks again for caring and helping me stay quit. Day 9 today. Horale!!!! |
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Strength & Honor Quit: 5/19/2011 HOF: 8/26/2011 I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. - D.H. Lawrence | |
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| csucomms1 | May 27 2011, 09:28 AM Post #8 |
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Keeping my quit in check
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congrats on your quit thus far. We all know its not easy! Keep up the good fight and stay safe. Enjoy your weekend! Proud to be quit with you! |
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"Go Hard or Go Home" The only easy day was yesterday! - US Navy SEALS Don't talk about what you have done or what you are going to do. -Thomas Jefferson Quit Date: January 18, 2011 Introduction Thread HOF Speech | |
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| Dante | May 27 2011, 09:52 AM Post #9 |
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Live free...or die!
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Just joined the site yesterday, but I'm 18 days onto my quit. We have alot in common (1*). Cops can be tough to convince...but you should try. I'm working on one of my brothers right now. Stay strong and let me know if you need a pep talk. I will do the same. Above all else...be safe. |
| Quit Date: May 10, 2011 | |
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| Greg5280 | May 28 2011, 09:31 AM Post #10 |
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Bonafied Quit Beast
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Tell as many people as you can about the site. It works and it can save their life. Just rememeber addicts are not easy to convince. The most important quit is YOURS !! Protect that at all costs. If you can get others to quit that is great, but do not let their reluctance to quit impact you negatively. Keep on Quitting Greg |
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It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not. NEVER AGAIN !! "I have been down here before, I know the way out. " There is a huge difference between a commitment of 99% and a commitment of 100% Quit Date: 10-30-2009 : HOF Date: 2-7-2010 : One Year: 10-30-2010 : Two Years: 10-30-2011 : Comma 7-25-2012 : Three Years 10-30-2012 : Four Years 10-30-2013 : Five Years 10-30-2014 : Double Comma 4-21-2015 : Six Years 10-30-2015 : Seven Years 10-30-2016 : Eight Years 10-30-2017 : My HOF Speech | |
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| funnylatino | May 31 2011, 03:40 PM Post #11 |
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FunnyLatino, aka FL
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Day 13 of quit today. I have had the nods, but it's getting better. Yeah me! Thanks for the support. |
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Strength & Honor Quit: 5/19/2011 HOF: 8/26/2011 I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. - D.H. Lawrence | |
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| Miles | May 31 2011, 08:31 PM Post #12 |
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Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.
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Dip some coffee man..... |
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June Legend 2011 Quit = 03/7/2011 HOF = 06/15/2011 COMMA = 12/01/2013 FOREVER QUIT - NEVER LOOKING BACK - HOLD ME TO THAT STATEMENT PLEASE Let Him Roll MY STORY | |
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| funnylatino | Jun 4 2011, 04:56 PM Post #13 |
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FunnyLatino, aka FL
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Day 17 and this popo is still quit strong. |
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Strength & Honor Quit: 5/19/2011 HOF: 8/26/2011 I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. - D.H. Lawrence | |
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| Ready | Jun 4 2011, 05:55 PM Post #14 |
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May 2008 ROCKS! TTF
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Most people can't quit for one day let alone 17. That is Huge. You are a bad ass quitter. Keep doing what you're doing. |
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Caving is not an option, Do something else. Burn your boats! "This takes commitment, effort, accountibility and to be honest....blood, guts and nuts." - redtrain14 "Hey, snowflake, don't take a seat in the life raft if you are not serious about saving your life." - Scowick65 "Now I can walk through walls and my quit can talk to god. That's right. Crazy voodoo magic quit." - Souliman Nicotine doesn't give two shits about your strategery, and that's just a fact. Only strategy that works is promise not to use nicotine first thing every morning, keep that promise all day, rinse, repeat. - teamgreen | |
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| Miles | Jun 5 2011, 11:11 AM Post #15 |
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Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.
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Right On FunnyLatino! You got the nic bitch on the run and an APB has been issued. You are shaping up to be a real quit badass. Proud to be quit with ya. BTW - you should check out the official popo thread. MOA is kinda lonely over there! http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=4699 |
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June Legend 2011 Quit = 03/7/2011 HOF = 06/15/2011 COMMA = 12/01/2013 FOREVER QUIT - NEVER LOOKING BACK - HOLD ME TO THAT STATEMENT PLEASE Let Him Roll MY STORY | |
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Firefighter: The Desire To Serve, The Courage To Act, The Ability To Perform.
3:35 PM Jul 11