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Day One; The Quite
Topic Started: Jul 1 2010, 10:29 PM (1,628 Views)
KTG
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Oh, Hello
[ *  * ]
RWM
Jul 12, 2010, 12:06 pm
aabye1
Jul 12, 2010, 9:17 am
Cancrusher,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you.  I was out of town, and my internet access was just enough to post roll.

Your post raised a good question, and one that I had intended to ask the members of KTC for their advice.  What do you say to your spouse when you quit, when she didn't know you had the problem in the first place?

Well, I went ahead and told her this last weekend.  We were on a family vacation, having a ton of fun and relaxing, entirely free from the normal stress of quotidian life.  I decided that then would have been as good a time as any.

So I told her the truth... that I had had a nasty habit for the three years that we were married, that I hid it from her because I was embarrassed/ashamed, and that I had just recently quit.

She was upset, to be sure, but not fly-off-the-handle-get-ready-to-have-your-eyeballs-scratched-out upset.  Just disappointment.  But, she was also glad that I was quit.  She asked if that explained my mood this past week, being irritable, short-tempered, etc.  I said that it probably had something to do with it.

Anyways, I am glad I told her.  Even if her reaction had been worse, I would still be glad.  I was tired of lying to her about my habit, but it would have still been lying if I hadn't told her that I had taken up a new habit - Quitting.

huge step brother. I too was a secret dipper (or so you think anyway). She knew, it was just the elephant in the room that no one talked about. Now that you have established communication on this subject. You will need to bring it up again. Don't expect her to ask if your still quit. She might be afraid that you'll say no, or just lie about it. When you hit a week, 20 days, 30 days.... tell her. I'm still staying strong...

Post every day and keep your promise

Here's something I found really interesting about my own quit. My wife has always known that I chew. If I had to sneak it by her I would have spent zero time with her, because I always had a chew in. But the interesting thing is that even though she knew, and I always had a dip in, I was still lying and sneaking around. I realize I used to stay up later just to have that extra chew, I would act like I was being nice and getting her a treat from the store but really I just wanted to buy a tin. Shit like that. Even though I didn't have to hide my addiction, the addiction was making me hide from her. I feel horrible about it now and I'm just really glad to have found this site and be quit. I have a baby girl on the way and fuck if I'm gonna let that dirty nic bitch take a second of my life away from her.
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Greg5280
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Bonafied Quit Beast
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
KTG
Jul 13, 2010, 12:40 pm
RWM
Jul 12, 2010, 12:06 pm
aabye1
Jul 12, 2010, 9:17 am
Cancrusher,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you.  I was out of town, and my internet access was just enough to post roll.

Your post raised a good question, and one that I had intended to ask the members of KTC for their advice.  What do you say to your spouse when you quit, when she didn't know you had the problem in the first place?

Well, I went ahead and told her this last weekend.  We were on a family vacation, having a ton of fun and relaxing, entirely free from the normal stress of quotidian life.  I decided that then would have been as good a time as any.

So I told her the truth... that I had had a nasty habit for the three years that we were married, that I hid it from her because I was embarrassed/ashamed, and that I had just recently quit.

She was upset, to be sure, but not fly-off-the-handle-get-ready-to-have-your-eyeballs-scratched-out upset.  Just disappointment.  But, she was also glad that I was quit.  She asked if that explained my mood this past week, being irritable, short-tempered, etc.  I said that it probably had something to do with it.

Anyways, I am glad I told her.  Even if her reaction had been worse, I would still be glad.  I was tired of lying to her about my habit, but it would have still been lying if I hadn't told her that I had taken up a new habit - Quitting.

huge step brother. I too was a secret dipper (or so you think anyway). She knew, it was just the elephant in the room that no one talked about. Now that you have established communication on this subject. You will need to bring it up again. Don't expect her to ask if your still quit. She might be afraid that you'll say no, or just lie about it. When you hit a week, 20 days, 30 days.... tell her. I'm still staying strong...

Post every day and keep your promise

Here's something I found really interesting about my own quit. My wife has always known that I chew. If I had to sneak it by her I would have spent zero time with her, because I always had a chew in. But the interesting thing is that even though she knew, and I always had a dip in, I was still lying and sneaking around. I realize I used to stay up later just to have that extra chew, I would act like I was being nice and getting her a treat from the store but really I just wanted to buy a tin. Shit like that. Even though I didn't have to hide my addiction, the addiction was making me hide from her. I feel horrible about it now and I'm just really glad to have found this site and be quit. I have a baby girl on the way and fuck if I'm gonna let that dirty nic bitch take a second of my life away from her.

This is good shit right here. All part of healing.

You will look at many things differently once you are not sucking on the NIC bitches tit 17 hours a day.

I have found many things about my past I do not like, I am working to correct those. I can say without a doubt I like the dip free me much better than the guy I used to be.

Stay quit.. it is worth it !!
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.

NEVER AGAIN !!

"I have been down here before, I know the way out. "

There is a huge difference between a commitment of 99% and a commitment of 100%

Quit Date: 10-30-2009 : HOF Date: 2-7-2010 : One Year: 10-30-2010 : Two Years: 10-30-2011 : Comma 7-25-2012 : Three Years 10-30-2012 : Four Years 10-30-2013 : Five Years 10-30-2014 : Double Comma 4-21-2015 : Six Years 10-30-2015 : Seven Years 10-30-2016 : Eight Years 10-30-2017 :

My HOF Speech



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KTG
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Oh, Hello
[ *  * ]
Greg5280
Jul 13, 2010, 11:49 am

You will look at many things differently once you are not sucking on the NIC bitches tit 17 hours a day.

That's a great quote right there, that was me to a T.
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aabye1
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[ *  * ]
Been a little light on the post here (but have made roll everyday, and will continue to do so). The quit is strong. Right now I'm in a hotel room, away from friends, family, and everything else because my job requires this thing every six weeks or so. Huge trigger time for me, and I'm not gonna lie, the craves have been seductive...

But not enough. The quit is kicking strong. I am certainly not as twitchy as I was in my first couple of weeks, and the fog seems to be lifting a bit... these are good things.

But, and I say this to myself and to all of October (and everyone else)... I am feeling this is a dangerous time. Lassitude and arrogance. I know the bitch is gonna show up stronger than ever soon. I'm doing some furious re-reading of everything right now. Looking at cave stories and hardcore cock grabbing quit stories. I do not have this beat. But I am at least throwing punches.

Stay strong October. We have a big group. Let's not get lazy.

I can't wait to be quit tomorrow.
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DoneDippingDenny
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Liberal dose of conservatism
[ *  * ]
Ready to be quit tomorrow right there with you. We GOT THIS shit!!!
Stay Alive! Stay Quit!!!
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Greg5280
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Bonafied Quit Beast
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
DoneDippingDenny
Jul 29, 2010, 10:36 am
Ready to be quit tomorrow right there with you. We GOT THIS shit!!!

Tomorrow ? Why wait until tomorrow ? Is it going to be easier tomorrow?

There is no perfect time to quit other than right now. Dump your can, and start your quit.

Tomorrow is going to suck too !! Just sayin...
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.

NEVER AGAIN !!

"I have been down here before, I know the way out. "

There is a huge difference between a commitment of 99% and a commitment of 100%

Quit Date: 10-30-2009 : HOF Date: 2-7-2010 : One Year: 10-30-2010 : Two Years: 10-30-2011 : Comma 7-25-2012 : Three Years 10-30-2012 : Four Years 10-30-2013 : Five Years 10-30-2014 : Double Comma 4-21-2015 : Six Years 10-30-2015 : Seven Years 10-30-2016 : Eight Years 10-30-2017 :

My HOF Speech



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aabye1
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Quitter
[ *  * ]
Just a quick update.

Day 37 of the quit(e) (I wish I could change that. It must have been the fog). The craves are certainly coming on strong, and at unexpected moments. I try to avoid all the triggers, and yet I'll find a huge crave doing something as mundane as... walking up the stairs, or filling the ice cube tray, or sweeping the rug. It does get annoying, but it is also encouraging. The bitch is getting desperate.

I'm gonna take some time to re-read the the site again this weekend, check in with quit groups past and present, listen to some sage advice from the vets, and maybe even a chat or two. One of the best things I have learned from this site is that we are never free from our addiction. I'm a third of the way to the HOF, and I'm going to treat this weekend like its the first weekend of my quit... guard it with my life.
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neveragain10
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objects in sack are larger than they appear
[ *  *  * ]
aabye1
Aug 6, 2010, 7:09 pm
Just a quick update.

Day 37 of the quit(e) (I wish I could change that. It must have been the fog). The craves are certainly coming on strong, and at unexpected moments. I try to avoid all the triggers, and yet I'll find a huge crave doing something as mundane as... walking up the stairs, or filling the ice cube tray, or sweeping the rug. It does get annoying, but it is also encouraging. The bitch is getting desperate.

I'm gonna take some time to re-read the the site again this weekend, check in with quit groups past and present, listen to some sage advice from the vets, and maybe even a chat or two. One of the best things I have learned from this site is that we are never free from our addiction. I'm a third of the way to the HOF, and I'm going to treat this weekend like its the first weekend of my quit... guard it with my life.

My friend, you appear to have all the tools in place to swing this quit by it's tail. Nice positive outlook. It can't be said enough how much better it will get. If you can actually remember three weeks ago, I'm sure you will agree that it is already getting better every day.

Day by day, the suck melts away slowly. Some days are great, some not so much. When all you can do is look forward to the good times, an attitude like yours is gonna go a long way.

Stay quit and enjoy.

neveragain10
000,001,500+ days quit

"Many apologies, master. But I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly wrong. I too want to boot some head" -The Frantics
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