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Day One; The Quite
Topic Started: Jul 1 2010, 10:29 PM (1,629 Views)
aabye1
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Quitter
[ *  * ]
Good evening,

This morning I settled into my desk at work, put in my first ritual dip, grabbed my coffee, and settled into my chair to spend my first hard earned hour... browsing the internet. Then something struck me funny... "why the hell am I doing this?". I hate it, I hate the taste, I hate the cost, I hate the constant worry and fear everytime I get a sore in my mouth, and most of all, I hate the fact that my lovely wife of three years doesn't know I do it. Talk about being a liar.

So I said that's it. Took my six dollar can out to the dumpster (where I couldn't go and dig it out in an hour) and told myself this quit is "The Quit".

Now, like many here (from what I can tell, anyways, I just found this site about five minutes after I got back from the dumpster) I have attempted to quit before. Always fear. Fear of the C. Fear of the gum disease, fear of getting caught.

Fear never worked.

But it clicked this morning, and I pray it sticks. It's not fear. It's love. I love my life. I love my wife. I want to love the children we hope to have for as long as possible.

Day 1 of the rest of my life.
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kevinsravens
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TTF'er from May '08
[ *  *  *  * ]
aabye1
Jul 1, 2010, 10:29 pm
Good evening,

This morning I settled into my desk at work, put in my first ritual dip, grabbed my coffee, and settled into my chair to spend my first hard earned hour... browsing the internet. Then something struck me funny... "why the hell am I doing this?". I hate it, I hate the taste, I hate the cost, I hate the constant worry and fear everytime I get a sore in my mouth, and most of all, I hate the fact that my lovely wife of three years doesn't know I do it. Talk about being a liar.

So I said that's it. Took my six dollar can out to the dumpster (where I couldn't go and dig it out in an hour) and told myself this quit is "The Quit".

Now, like many here (from what I can tell, anyways, I just found this site about five minutes after I got back from the dumpster) I have attempted to quit before. Always fear. Fear of the C. Fear of the gum disease, fear of getting caught.

Fear never worked.

But it clicked this morning, and I pray it sticks. It's not fear. It's love. I love my life. I love my wife. I want to love the children we hope to have for as long as possible.

Day 1 of the rest of my life.

I don't know about all the praying and what not . . but congrats on the quit.

In 3 days the worst will be behind you. . . and as long as you never dip again, you won't ever have to go through these days.

so click here and post a day 1 in roll call in your quit group . . . October 2010 HOF Class

http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=3519

congrats and welcome abord . . one day at a time it really adds up . . .
KR - 886 Days
The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.
Vince Lombardi

Quit Date 1.28.08
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Gregggg
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[ *  * ]
aabye1
Jul 1, 2010, 8:29 pm
Good evening,

This morning I settled into my desk at work, put in my first ritual dip, grabbed my coffee, and settled into my chair to spend my first hard earned hour... browsing the internet. Then something struck me funny... "why the hell am I doing this?". I hate it, I hate the taste, I hate the cost, I hate the constant worry and fear everytime I get a sore in my mouth, and most of all, I hate the fact that my lovely wife of three years doesn't know I do it. Talk about being a liar.

So I said that's it. Took my six dollar can out to the dumpster (where I couldn't go and dig it out in an hour) and told myself this quit is "The Quit".

Now, like many here (from what I can tell, anyways, I just found this site about five minutes after I got back from the dumpster) I have attempted to quit before. Always fear. Fear of the C. Fear of the gum disease, fear of getting caught.

Fear never worked.

But it clicked this morning, and I pray it sticks. It's not fear. It's love. I love my life. I love my wife. I want to love the children we hope to have for as long as possible.

Day 1 of the rest of my life.

Well I just want to say welcome aabye1, you're in the right place. It may sound strange, but if you need to talk to anyone just message me and I'll gladly respond. I know what its like and I'm still dealing with it everyday. And in response to the praying, I'd say go for it, you can use all the help you can get. It sounds like your finally being honest with yourself. And let me just saying honesty for me is one of my top priorities because if I don't tell someone that I'm thinking about dipping, I'm setting myself up for a relapse. Sharing on this website is extremely important to me and all of us. Once again, Welcome.


- gregggg
All I know is, the world doesn't revolve around me.
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Greg5280
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[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Gregggg
Jul 2, 2010, 12:51 pm
aabye1
Jul 1, 2010, 8:29 pm
Good evening,

This morning I settled into my desk at work, put in my first ritual dip, grabbed my coffee, and settled into my chair to spend my first hard earned hour... browsing the internet.  Then something struck me funny... "why the hell am I doing this?".  I hate it, I hate the taste, I hate the cost, I hate the constant worry and fear everytime I get a sore in my mouth, and most of all, I hate the fact that my lovely wife of three years doesn't know I do it.  Talk about being a liar. 

So I said that's it.  Took my six dollar can out to the dumpster (where I couldn't go and dig it out in an hour) and told myself this quit is "The Quit".

Now, like many here (from what I can tell, anyways, I just found this site about five minutes after I got back from the dumpster) I have attempted to quit before.  Always fear. Fear of the C.  Fear of the gum disease, fear of getting caught. 

Fear never worked.

But it clicked this morning, and I pray it sticks.  It's not fear.  It's love.  I love my life.  I love my wife.  I want to love the children we hope to have for as long as possible. 

Day 1 of the rest of my life.

Well I just want to say welcome aabye1, you're in the right place. It may sound strange, but if you need to talk to anyone just message me and I'll gladly respond. I know what its like and I'm still dealing with it everyday. And in response to the praying, I'd say go for it, you can use all the help you can get. It sounds like your finally being honest with yourself. And let me just saying honesty for me is one of my top priorities because if I don't tell someone that I'm thinking about dipping, I'm setting myself up for a relapse. Sharing on this website is extremely important to me and all of us. Once again, Welcome.


- gregggg

Welcome to the site. It is going to be hard but well worth it.

I will tell you like I tell every newbie that shows up in here. READ, READ, READ. Knowing what is coming and what to expect is huge.

Settle in and lets get this shit done.

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.

NEVER AGAIN !!

"I have been down here before, I know the way out. "

There is a huge difference between a commitment of 99% and a commitment of 100%

Quit Date: 10-30-2009 : HOF Date: 2-7-2010 : One Year: 10-30-2010 : Two Years: 10-30-2011 : Comma 7-25-2012 : Three Years 10-30-2012 : Four Years 10-30-2013 : Five Years 10-30-2014 : Double Comma 4-21-2015 : Six Years 10-30-2015 : Seven Years 10-30-2016 : Eight Years 10-30-2017 :

My HOF Speech



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aabye1
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Thanks for the support everyone. Day 2 is done. 16 hours at work. Would have normally been a two can day. Today, it was a no can day. The quit is alive and kicking.
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Greg5280
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aabye1
Jul 2, 2010, 11:35 pm
Thanks for the support everyone. Day 2 is done. 16 hours at work. Would have normally been a two can day. Today, it was a no can day. The quit is alive and kicking.

Just make sure you bring your ass back here tomorrow and make it day 3 !!!

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.

NEVER AGAIN !!

"I have been down here before, I know the way out. "

There is a huge difference between a commitment of 99% and a commitment of 100%

Quit Date: 10-30-2009 : HOF Date: 2-7-2010 : One Year: 10-30-2010 : Two Years: 10-30-2011 : Comma 7-25-2012 : Three Years 10-30-2012 : Four Years 10-30-2013 : Five Years 10-30-2014 : Double Comma 4-21-2015 : Six Years 10-30-2015 : Seven Years 10-30-2016 : Eight Years 10-30-2017 :

My HOF Speech



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kdip
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NO PINCH for me Walt! I Don't USE that SHIT anymore!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Greg5280
Jul 3, 2010, 5:46 am
aabye1
Jul 2, 2010, 11:35 pm
Thanks for the support everyone.  Day 2 is done.  16 hours at work.  Would have normally been a two can day.  Today, it was a no can day.  The quit is alive and kicking.

Just make sure you bring your ass back here tomorrow and make it day 3 !!!

Nice work abbye1!!!! tomorrow will be the last day you will have nic in your system!!!! We will see you post tomorrow on Day 3!!!
Quit Date 09/02/08

HOF Date 12/11/08

1,000 Days 5/30/11

Copenhagen WAS my Bitch! May she rest in peace!!!

December '08 Bouncers Kick Ass!!!
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aabye1
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Thanks kdip!

Gotta admit, i'm getting hit pretty hard today. A ton of anxiety, panic attacks, etc. I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac (the irony of putting cancer causing substances into my lip is not lost on me), and today is bad. I keep thinking i'm going to die, that I already have cancer, etc. Even though there is nothing in my mouth.

Ugh, not fun.

BUT, as horrible as it is, it is also pissing me off. Pissing me off that I did damage to my body for so long, pissing me off that I waited until now to quit, pissing me off that I didn't get pissed off sooner!!!

The pissed is giving the quit strengh. I'll take it. I can't wait to post roll call tomorrow morning!
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Skoal Monster
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aabye1
Jul 3, 2010, 2:59 pm
Thanks kdip!

Gotta admit, i'm getting hit pretty hard today.  A ton of anxiety, panic attacks, etc.  I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac (the irony of putting cancer causing substances into my lip is not lost on me), and today is bad.  I keep thinking i'm going to die, that I already have cancer, etc.  Even though there is nothing in my mouth.

Ugh, not fun.

BUT, as horrible as it is, it is also pissing me off.  Pissing me off that I did damage to my body for so long, pissing me off that I waited until now to quit, pissing me off that I didn't get pissed off sooner!!!

The pissed is giving the quit strengh.  I'll take it.  I can't wait to post roll call tomorrow morning!

stay mad, They sold you a substance that when used properly and as directed kills you. They poisoned you. All the crazy stuff your feeling now is a direct result of being addicted to the most lethal substance on earth. ( Actually more toxic than snake venom ounce for ounce)

U got this , see you for day 2

sm
"CLOSE THE DOOR. In my opinion, it’s the single most important step in your final quit. There is one moment, THE moment, when you finally let go and surrender to the quit. After that moment, no temptation will be great enough, no lie persuasive enough to make you commit suicide by using tobacco."
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aabye1
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Not sure where this should go, so I will try it in my introduction thread...

I'm going to out of internet range for the last part for a few days this week. I may be able to get some 3g reception on my phone, but I can't guarantee it. I don't want to miss roll call at any costs. I'm generally wary of giving out my number or asking other people for theirs, but screw it, the quit is worth it. Anyone willing to let me shoot you a text each morning an post roll call for me?

Thank You
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klark
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Me monkeys are out in full force
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aabye1
Jul 6, 2010, 8:54 am
Not sure where this should go, so I will try it in my introduction thread...

I'm going to out of internet range for the last part for a few days this week. I may be able to get some 3g reception on my phone, but I can't guarantee it. I don't want to miss roll call at any costs. I'm generally wary of giving out my number or asking other people for theirs, but screw it, the quit is worth it. Anyone willing to let me shoot you a text each morning an post roll call for me?

Thank You

Just sent you a PM.
If quitting nicotine is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

A Promise not kept is the road to exile.

Speak the truth, or make your peace some other way.

Quit Date: 10/22/2009, HOF: 1/29/2010 , 2nd Floor: 5/10/2010, 3rd Floor: 8/17/2010,1 Year: 10/21/2010, 4th Floor: 11/25/2010 , 5th Floor 3/5/2011, 6th Floor 6/13/2011, 7th Floor 9/21/2011, 2 Years 10/21/2011, 8th Floor 12/30/2011, 9th Floor 4/8/2012, 1,000 7/17/2012, 3 Years 10/21/12, 11th floor 10/25/2012, 12th Floor 2/2/2013, 13th Floor 5/13/2013, 14th Floor 8/21/2013, 4 years 10/21/2013, 15th floor 11/29/2013, 16th floor 3/9/2014, 17th Floor 6/17/14, 18th Floor 9/25/14, 5 years 10/21/2014, 19th Floor 1/3/2015, 20th floor 4/13/15, 21st floor 7/22/15, 6 years 10/22/15, 22 Floor 10/30/2015, 23 Floor 2/7/2016, 24th floor 5/17/16, 25th floor 8/25/2016, 26th floor 12/3/2016, 27th Floor 3/13/17
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mule
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DETERMINED
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aabye1
Jul 3, 2010, 4:59 pm
Thanks kdip!

Gotta admit, i'm getting hit pretty hard today. A ton of anxiety, panic attacks, etc. I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac (the irony of putting cancer causing substances into my lip is not lost on me), and today is bad. I keep thinking i'm going to die, that I already have cancer, etc. Even though there is nothing in my mouth.

Ugh, not fun.

BUT, as horrible as it is, it is also pissing me off. Pissing me off that I did damage to my body for so long, pissing me off that I waited until now to quit, pissing me off that I didn't get pissed off sooner!!!

The pissed is giving the quit strengh. I'll take it. I can't wait to post roll call tomorrow morning!

just saw this....pissed is goooooooood

'Finger' UST
In the end, a Spartan's true strength is the warrior next to him. So give respect and honor to him, and it will be returned to you.
Leonidas "300"

mule's mantra, "Post roll first thing....then live your life and keep your word."

I know I will never cave on a day that I have posted roll.....ever.

Quit Date: 1-3-08, HOF 4-11-08, Comma 9-28-10
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Cancrusher
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███ QUIT: √ ███
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Hey brother, I've been keeping a close eye on you and the rest of October. You guys are my special project now that I'm on day 50, am clear of the heavy fog, and can begin to give back to this site which has given so much to me.

I have to say that I really sympathize with who you were. I too was a ninja dipper. My wife had no idea. Well, she'd caught me once/twice, but she had NO idea how deep the addiction ran. Who wants to admit something like that? I sure as hell didn't. "Hey hun, yeah, ummm...I'm severely addicted to worm/dirt/lip-turd/poison.

...Turns out, telling here was very instrumental to my quit. She was livid at first, sure. Her husband just told her that for the past 8 years he'd been lying to her. But you know what, after that initial shock, she was very excited for me. Now, on days like today (50), I openly share where I'm at with it and what day I'm on. She doesn't always care, and I don't rely on her for support (that's KTC's function), but knowing that she is proud from time to time is nice.

She also know that before I put that shit in my mouth again I will have had her sign the copy of the contract to give up that I keep in my wallet. That shit ain't gonna happen. Keep up the good quit brother!

This is just food for thought btw, I don't know if you've told her or not...I'm just sayin'. Take it or leave it.
Quit Date 5.19.2010
FLOOR I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV
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aabye1
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Cancrusher,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I was out of town, and my internet access was just enough to post roll.

Your post raised a good question, and one that I had intended to ask the members of KTC for their advice. What do you say to your spouse when you quit, when she didn't know you had the problem in the first place?

Well, I went ahead and told her this last weekend. We were on a family vacation, having a ton of fun and relaxing, entirely free from the normal stress of quotidian life. I decided that then would have been as good a time as any.

So I told her the truth... that I had had a nasty habit for the three years that we were married, that I hid it from her because I was embarrassed/ashamed, and that I had just recently quit.

She was upset, to be sure, but not fly-off-the-handle-get-ready-to-have-your-eyeballs-scratched-out upset. Just disappointment. But, she was also glad that I was quit. She asked if that explained my mood this past week, being irritable, short-tempered, etc. I said that it probably had something to do with it.

Anyways, I am glad I told her. Even if her reaction had been worse, I would still be glad. I was tired of lying to her about my habit, but it would have still been lying if I hadn't told her that I had taken up a new habit - Quitting.
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RWM
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God is Great, Beer is Good, People are Crazy
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aabye1
Jul 12, 2010, 9:17 am
Cancrusher,

Sorry it took so long to get back to you.  I was out of town, and my internet access was just enough to post roll.

Your post raised a good question, and one that I had intended to ask the members of KTC for their advice.  What do you say to your spouse when you quit, when she didn't know you had the problem in the first place?

Well, I went ahead and told her this last weekend.  We were on a family vacation, having a ton of fun and relaxing, entirely free from the normal stress of quotidian life.  I decided that then would have been as good a time as any.

So I told her the truth... that I had had a nasty habit for the three years that we were married, that I hid it from her because I was embarrassed/ashamed, and that I had just recently quit.

She was upset, to be sure, but not fly-off-the-handle-get-ready-to-have-your-eyeballs-scratched-out upset.  Just disappointment.  But, she was also glad that I was quit.  She asked if that explained my mood this past week, being irritable, short-tempered, etc.  I said that it probably had something to do with it.

Anyways, I am glad I told her.  Even if her reaction had been worse, I would still be glad.  I was tired of lying to her about my habit, but it would have still been lying if I hadn't told her that I had taken up a new habit - Quitting.

huge step brother. I too was a secret dipper (or so you think anyway). She knew, it was just the elephant in the room that no one talked about. Now that you have established communication on this subject. You will need to bring it up again. Don't expect her to ask if your still quit. She might be afraid that you'll say no, or just lie about it. When you hit a week, 20 days, 30 days.... tell her. I'm still staying strong...

Post every day and keep your promise

Quit Date: 6/14/10 Hof Date: 9/21/10

My HOF Speech

Philippians 4:6 - Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
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