| KillTheCan.org | Blog | Twitter | Facebook | Store | LIVE CHAT |
| Welcome to KillTheCan.org Online Community. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Diary of a Quitman | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: May 28 2010, 08:59 AM (604 Views) | |
| Punks | May 28 2010, 08:59 AM Post #1 |
|
Newbie
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Diary of a Quitman I was brought up to believe that you only, “Fail when you Quit.” Ironically, in this case, the paradigm shifts 180 degrees because you only, “Succeed when you Quit.” This is the interesting paradox I have been contemplating since 1:17am this morning. Sleep eludes me as I steady myself for what I am sure to be the most terrifying challenge of my lifetime. Like each and every member of this board I have looked at my reflection in the mirror and didn’t like the person staring back at me. All my life, at least as long as I can remember, I have looked at the person in the mirror and lied to myself thinking everything is o.k. while saying things like, “I’m nice enough”, or, “Look at how successful I am”, or, “Look at how pretty my wife is I must be doing all right.” All the while, deep down in that dark place I knew something was wrong. Something was hiding in the shadows that if I could just ignore wasn’t too difficult to handle. If I could just suppress it enough everything else was good enough to make it justifiable. It didn’t matter to me, at least not enough, the shame and guilt associated with being a dipper. Well it matters now and I have made the commitment to myself to quit the running and hiding and man-up and face the demons. Today is my day! Today is the day I start to write the story of the rest of my life. If my story can help one person or make me 1% a better husband I will consider it a wild success. If my story can lift the veil of fear and anxiety facing anyone ready to change their lives I will be forever grateful. As I sit here writing the introduction to the story of the rest of my life I am overwhelmed with the fear and anxiety of what I am about to go through. How painful will it be? Can I really make it? What if I don’t like the person I find on the other side? Truth be told I’m not sure I can make it but I am sure I am willing to try. I’m going to try and document my journey as best I can so other people may have the benefit of knowing what they can reasonably expect when they commit to changing their lives forever. I’m sure the first 72 to 120 hours will be the toughest so I may post often. After that, God willing, I hope to consistently increase the duration between posts to a point when it may only be daily or weekly. Who knows, one day I may even have the opportunity and be in position to help other people like MikeA or klark did for me last night. Thank you to both of you! I will always remember you two as the first people on this site to reach out to me in my darkest hour. Finally (I know I’m long winded) I want to briefly introduce myself so other people have a baseline in fighting their own demons. I’m 46 years old. I’ve been dipping for the past twenty nine years. Kodiak is my poison of choice at 2+ tins per day. Along with that charming habit I have bone on bone arthritis in my knees so I take between 4-8 Hydro 10/325’s / 3-4 Benzos & drink a bonus 6+ Mountain Dews per day. It’s a miracle I have made it this far and know I need to change for myself, my wife & my kids. For the past week I have been tapering the best I can and have selected today as my Quit Date. I’ve made the choice to lay down everything listed above instead of going through this madness again at some later date. My highest calling is that of a Christian. I have an amazing wife whom I adore. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Today, my love, I give myself up freely for you so you may flourish. I want you to know I am honored to call myself your husband. It’s 7:45am and I’m about to tear the nicotine patch of my arm and dive into my adventure. I hope this post from my heart doesn’t offend anyone but rather inspires someone to step out over the edge and go for it with me. I read somewhere that everyman dies but few men really ever live. It’s my choice today to live. 7:57am: Roll Call here I come… |
![]() |
|
| mitch | May 28 2010, 09:36 AM Post #2 |
|
Just the beginning...
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Punks - Great start, my friend. I think we all, to some degree, had the same moment of reckoning / epiphany. A couple of reactions / questions about your introduction:
Do you like the person you are now better than the person you were yesterday? For what it's worth...I like you better now, because you're a quitter just like me. I'm 105 days quit, and I feel exponentially better about myself now than I did 105 days ago. The man you find on the other side is the man you've been suppressing for 29 years. One day at a time, you'll find him again...the man you were meant to be. (I know that sounded pretty gay. For the record, I'm not gay...)
Let's be clear about our expectations. An essential part of quitting is posting roll, EVERY DAY, with your quit group. That paradigm is only enhanced by further reading / exploration of the site. There are several Bibles' worth of quitting wisdom here...it's up to you to invest the time necessary to benefit from it. If you do, you'll greatly increase your chances of success...and your chances of being there for a new quitter just like you somewhere down the road. If I hadn't invested myself fully in this site...I wouldn't be replying to you right now.
I love my wife too...today is our 10th wedding anniversary. But some wise veterans here told me at the beginning that I can't quit for her...or my two sons...or anyone else. I had to quit for ME. In so doing, I've made myself a better husband / father / role model for everyone that I care about...but I couldn't make them my sole motivation because I would blame the dip rage, the fog, the funks, and every other little thing that was hugely annoying during the last 105 days on them. It's not their fault. In your case, your wife didn't get you into this mess...you did. You've gotta get yourself out.
Now THAT'S the stuff a successful quit is made of. Outstanding! Quit with us...it's not easy, but it's ABSOLUTELY worth it. If you'd like a phone number to call when things get rough, send me a PM and I'll pass mine along. I would highly recommend getting #'s from your September quit brothers as well...they are the fellow warriors who will fight this battle with you, step by step. - Mitch |
|
Quit 02/13/2010 HOF 05/23/2010 2nd 08/31/2010 3rd 12/09/2010 1YR 02/12/2011 Stay Quit! It gets better!!! | |
![]() |
|
| Punks | May 28 2010, 09:58 AM Post #3 |
|
Newbie
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Punks - Great start, my friend. I think we all, to some degree, had the same moment of reckoning / epiphany. A couple of reactions / questions about your introduction: Do you like the person you are now better than the person you were yesterday? For what it's worth...I like you better now, because you're a quitter just like me. I'm 105 days quit, and I feel exponentially better about myself now than I did 105 days ago. The man you find on the other side is the man you've been suppressing for 29 years. One day at a time, you'll find him again...the man you were meant to be. (I know that sounded pretty gay. For the record, I'm not gay...) No Gayness (is that a word) taken. Let's be clear about our expectations. An essential part of quitting is posting roll, EVERY DAY, with your quit group. That paradigm is only enhanced by further reading / exploration of the site. There are several Bibles' worth of quitting wisdom here...it's up to you to invest the time necessary to benefit from it. If you do, you'll greatly increase your chances of success...and your chances of being there for a new quitter just like you somewhere down the road. If I hadn't invested myself fully in this site...I wouldn't be replying to you right now. I love my wife too...today is our 10th wedding anniversary. But some wise veterans here told me at the beginning that I can't quit for her...or my two sons...or anyone else. I had to quit for ME. In so doing, I've made myself a better husband / father / role model for everyone that I care about...but I couldn't make them my sole motivation because I would blame the dip rage, the fog, the funks, and every other little thing that was hugely annoying during the last 105 days on them. It's not their fault. In your case, your wife didn't get you into this mess...you did. You've gotta get yourself out. Congrats on your 10 year! I'll heed your advice and dive into the board. Now THAT'S the stuff a successful quit is made of. Outstanding! Quit with us...it's not easy, but it's ABSOLUTELY worth it. If you'd like a phone number to call when things get rough, send me a PM and I'll pass mine along. I would highly recommend getting #'s from your September quit brothers as well...they are the fellow warriors who will fight this battle with you, step by step. - Mitch Thank you for the offer. I will keep you in mind if desperation sets in ... Greg |
![]() |
|
| RagingJew | May 28 2010, 10:14 AM Post #4 |
|
Quit Ninja
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
The proper phrase is "no-homo" And Punk, don't screw this up. You will be tired, cranky, and nervous. You will want to end your quit. You will strongly consider caving for the sweet taste of Peach Skoal. Remember what Paul said in Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." As far as Gentiles are conerned, Paul is my second favorite. |
![]() |
|
| Punks | May 28 2010, 10:23 AM Post #5 |
|
Newbie
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Thank you for your support.. May I ask who your favorite Gentile is? |
![]() |
|
| kb81 | May 28 2010, 10:54 AM Post #6 |
|
Quit Ninja
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
This is EXACTLY what in the hell I am talking about! There is an attitude to quitting, and PUNKS, you've got it in you, brother. There is no "wish me luck" or "i may be happy to be here" or the alike. I can tell right off the bat the people who are serious versus the people who do not give a fuck and are here to fuck us all over to include themselves, and worse yet, their wives, children, and other family members. Punks, you're mind set is phenomenal and this is what we strive for on a daily basis. Keep yourself onto this website. Get in the wildcard section and have a good time. Make contacts and get numbers. If you need a number, shoot me a line, brother and consider mine yours. Keep your mind right...and keep it straight. This is going to be hard, but there are bigger obstacles in life than quitting dipping...know what I mean? Welcome to the first day of your new life. I haven't regretted one bit my decision to quit dipping and I doubt anybody here has. |
| ( . )( . ) | |
![]() |
|
| CoachDoc | May 28 2010, 11:07 AM Post #7 |
|
Big Stick of Quit
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Good introduction, better listening than most people when they first come on here...a man willing to listen and take advice is a man who is much more likely to succeed. Glad to have you int he quit, brother. |
|
Blah...Blah...Blah...You keep TALKIN....I'll keep QUITTIN I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to support YOUR quit. Quit Date: 2/25/10 and every day since HoF: June 4, 2010 HOF Speech 10th Floor: November 20, 2012 | |
![]() |
|
| Punks | May 28 2010, 11:29 AM Post #8 |
|
Newbie
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Hi CoachDoc, I'm sorry that I didn't reply to your previous post because I didn't know if it was private or not. Thank you for your vote of confidence! |
![]() |
|
| Punks | May 28 2010, 11:33 AM Post #9 |
|
Newbie
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
kb81 - thank you for your vote of confidence. Not feeling so good right now but I will look you up if I hit critical mass! :) |
![]() |
|
| kb81 | May 28 2010, 11:36 AM Post #10 |
|
Quit Ninja
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
No problem at all. Look at the tobacco substitutes. Smokey Mountain Chew is horrible. It tastes and feels like hay mixed w/ dog shit. Mint Snuff sucks. In my opinion, they ALL suck EXECPT for Hooch Herbal Snuff. Hooch is VERY close to real dip. The only problem is generally it is mail order only. They ship rather quick like. Look them up: www.hoochsnuff.com....you will find that you will use the hooch less and less as the days go on. I purchased a huge shipment from them and I haven't used the hooch in days. It's a great product. Use sunflower seeds, gum, whatever it takes, just keep that crap out of your face. Oh, and welcome aboard, brother, it's great to have you here. One last thing: POST ROLE EACH AND EVERY DAY. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THIS SITE. |
| ( . )( . ) | |
![]() |
|
| bmartin | May 31 2010, 06:06 PM Post #11 |
|
Quitter
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Where is this guy? Is he still with us. I don't see him at roll for Sept |
![]() |
|
| theo3wood | Jun 1 2010, 08:27 AM Post #12 |
|
Founding Member: Mighty Lumberjacks; Nov '08
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Punks' last KTC activity was on Friday. Don't rain on my parade Punk. :angry: |
|
"the cycle is over. we are clean. we are shining beacons to the masses that think it can't be done." ...LooT "We have the right to watch our children grow and have earned the right to participate in their lives. We will not be denied. Success can be our only option now. We can never tire, give up, fail, or falter. We are worth more than this addiction and will stop at nothing to beat it." ...Sweenz | |
![]() |
|
| mitch | Jun 1 2010, 09:02 AM Post #13 |
|
Just the beginning...
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Yeah, I've been checking Sept roll for him...he sure went out with a whimper. |
|
Quit 02/13/2010 HOF 05/23/2010 2nd 08/31/2010 3rd 12/09/2010 1YR 02/12/2011 Stay Quit! It gets better!!! | |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Introductions · Next Topic » |





![]](http://z5.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)



10:23 AM Jul 11