Author Topic: Long time stalker, first time poster  (Read 120 times)

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Offline KennyZ

  • February 2015
  • Quitter
  • **
  • Posts: 819
  • February 2015
  • Quit Date: 11/11/2014
  • Likes Given: 32
Long time stalker, first time poster
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2018, 10:58:39 PM »
January 27, 2015

I’m at day 77!  While I try to be proud of the count, I’m reminded of why my number is only 77.  About 10 years ago I was roughly at the 6 year mark, nicotine free.  Yes, 6 f’n years without failing!  I started bumming a dip from friends while golfing and chewing on a cigar at parties.  I let my guard down and my addiction started working on my behaviors.

I convinced myself that I could buy a tin and leave it around, just take a dip once-in-awhile when the feeling struck.  Then instead of having a new tin once a month it grew into a tin-a-day addiction.  I was horribly embarrassed that I caved.  My wife was pissed and I let myself down.

As most of you have posted, I’ve tried quitting many times.  I would make it through the suck and speed on down the road only to stop at the gas station to start the cycle again.  

But this time it is different.  Why?  I’ve got this site and bunch of people that will assist me in keeping my daily promise.  I now have a group that will keep bringing the addiction mind games to the forefront for me to see.  For that I am thankful and proud.

So, will I make it past the 6 year mark again?  I don’t know.  All I can promise is that today I will not cave.