Hi I quit April 1,2009 I waited to join you guys until the 6th. I have tried this quit thing many time before but I think I will win this time. I have used tobacco for over 40 years Skoal for at least 35 of those. I have only been married 24 years so the Skoal thing is hard to give up. Both my girls are involved with anti drug and anti tobacco clubs. I want to suport them you have a website that is a no BS tell it like it is that is what I wanted.
Thanks for your support.
Day 21 life is getting better!

Rock on my friend! Nice work on the 21 days.

Welcome markr. Yes it can be done. I abused tobacco for over 35 years myself. Get into the July quit group if you are not already and post day 21. This website is your lifeline. USE it and you will conquer the Bitch!!! Life is better without dip!!! PM me if you need anything.

Day 27
I had a couple guys that answered roll call for me this past weekend. My wife could not believe that some one I have never met would do that for me and wanted to make sure I did not cave over the weekend.

This site is full of guys helping others get through this quit we all have one goal.

Thanks to the guys that backed me up!!!

Mark

Day 30 whoo!!! Life is getting back to normal I still notice that my fuse is shorter than I remember it being. If you have not read Deans post Thinking and Thoughts in this section you must he has a great story sorry nothing that good here. I am starting to not eat as much as I did in the first 2 weeks. I am even starting to lose a little wieght. That is good because the first 21 days I gained about 14 lbs.
Thanks to everyone for thier suport.

Mark: I'm really rooting for you, pal. Congrats on 30....it's a good, big number. I need you to hang in there and hit the HOF with me in July.

So let it be written; so let it be done.

Thanks Dean. Great story in your post I can imagine that happening here. The only difference we are all guys so things like that would be posted on the board like a badge of honor :D

So let it be written and so let it be done!!

Day 34 This past weekend was tough I love being in the woods or out fishing. These are huge triggers for me so I have been doing these things a little at a time to get used to doing things without dip. Friday my daughter called home and told my wife her new camera quit working no big deal right. Well on Saturday my wife and daughter want the videos off the card. That is when I find out that the camera was knocked off a stool or whatever. I use a computer but am by no means a tech with them. After working for 2 hours I finally got the dang card uploaded to the computer and was pretty pissed off then they told that all they wanted was the 3 vids that where there not the rest it would not have taken so long if I would have just uploaded the movies. If you remember from my earlier post my fuse has gotten shorter so now I am pissed big time and then the craving starts. After watching the video that the camera was broken my daughters friend that broke it laughed all the way through whacking off whatever it was sitting on. 'bang head' Now the craving is getting real bad I just got up grabbed the rifle and got on the quad and went out in the woods for awhile. I started calming down and the craves go away then here comes 3 trespassers mushroom hunting I get the same crap every time that someone gave them permission to be there I explain that I pay the Taxes and the bank for the land they are on and to get the h**l off or the sheriff will be called. Guess what the freakin craves are back. If they would have had any mushrooms I would have really blown my stack.

I guess I am finding out that getting mad makes me crave the forbidden stuff so I am trying to find ways to avoid getting mad.

Writing this let me vent and I do feel better so take it for what its worth this site and the guys here are helping me.

Thanks I will make this quit stick.

After reading a couple other threads it looks like what I am going through is normal. My quit buddies are all feeling the strain as I am. We must get through this stage. Caving is not an option.

Day 35 yesterday was a tiring day for me and my group. One posted he is fed up with this shit, one sent a message he was going home to get away from people, I texted one to see if he was going to post roll and I have been pissed at the world for the past 3-4 days. Several others in the 30 -40 day range seem to be feeling this also it sucks.

I woke up today bound to be happy and try not to let things get to me. That was not to be. One of my quit group the one I prodded to post roll yesterday caved last night. This really sucks I feel maybe I could have done something to keep KK going.

Damn it KK that is all I can think about he was at 35 days. He stated he had a few beers and lost it. When you read the cave post they don't connect because you have not had contact with them but when they text you and you form a quit group it hits home.

Sorry for the ramble but this is my sounding board now.

I feel your frustration! I felt like I had to wrestle pretty hard yesterday. I did go home, logged onto the chat room and talked it out a little. Took some advice; went and laid in the bed watching TV until I fell asleep. Had a little nap and woke up in alot better mood.

I really don't review the roll call post before I post so I never caught that "KK" had posted DAY 1. I guess that I'll have to review the post before posting myself just to make sure that I don't state that all the "CAN SMASHERS" are accounted for and look like an idiot for not knowing that one of my can smashers isn't any longer. I don't know why he didn't reach out to one of us. Kinda makes me feel like an ass for not knowing ...... just dealing with my own struggle.

Wayne bo you posted right though KK was accounted for he just had caved. I talked with him on the phone yesterday at lunch he was pretty down but I think he will be fine. It sucks that he caved but I will give he the chance to redeem himself in the August group and will still support him there.

I am pretty upbeat today I have had a real short fuse lately unfortunately my family has taken a few hits from me they understand but it is still hard for all of us.

The reason I checked in with you yesterday was because of KK caving I just wanted to make sure you were OK.

I also changed me signature yesterday and added (Caving is not an option) so every post make that statement from me. I am done with the tobacco for good no turning back now. KK caving made me stronger and I hope that you pull strength from it also.

We can finish this thing out together; you, me and FTK, as well as the others in July. We can finish strong and keep each other headed in the right direction. We all have each others contact info and we can keep busting each others balls until were quit for good. This is why we came here .... for the support and accountablility.

Wayne bo you posted right though KK was accounted for he just had caved. I talked with him on the phone yesterday at lunch he was pretty down but I think he will be fine. It sucks that he caved but I will give he the chance to redeem himself in the August group and will still support him there.

I am pretty upbeat today I have had a real short fuse lately unfortunately my family has taken a few hits from me they understand but it is still hard for all of us.

The reason I checked in with you yesterday was because of KK caving I just wanted to make sure you were OK.

I also changed me signature yesterday and added (Caving is not an option) so every post make that statement from me. I am done with the tobacco for good no turning back now. KK caving made me stronger and I hope that you pull strength from it also.

Today is day 42 I have gotten past the fog and really don't crave dip anymore. The biggest thing for me the past couple weeks is I get mad fast. I posted this a week or so ago and got a PM from someone that told me it would pass and to think will I still be mad about this next Tuesday? Well I have tried to apply that the past week it seem to work pretty well. however the kids are pushing the launch button daily now sometimes multiple pushes. Last night was one of those nights They made a huge mess in one room and I walked off then found onther mess in another room and found homework was not done then the chores where not done you get the picture. I came unglued they look at me like they had done nothing wrong I dole out a punishment then Mom over rode My punishment guess what I unloaded on her. I really hope this phase gets done I have tried very hard not to get mad at my family during this quit but lately that has not worked. Stress at work busy schedule and no time for myself has me on edge I have usally got to go fishing but the weather has sucked and that has not happened yet the freakin grass is growing like crazy so I get home and two days a week I ride the tractor for a few hours. I will get through this without chew it would not make it any better and I have realized that. I do feel better and am not eating like a horse anymore. Still have the dry mouth a couple days a week when I wake up. If I can get over this being pissed stage I will have it made.

Brother, I feel your pain. I just unloaded on the ol lady because she went shopping for food to feed herself with for the week (I am out of town working) and she didnt buy things for us to eat on the weekend. :unsure: Why I was mad about this I do not know...

Me too..I blew up at my wife last night over dinner. Why I let that bother me is just crazy. Its like a full body mad rush of anger. I dont like it and feel like an asshole after I calm down.

Well day 50 is here 1/2 way to the hall!!!! I have been through quite a bit on my journey I have met a few good people here and have been so sick that I don't remember the day. I have had cravings so intense that the only comparison was being held underwater and wanting to breath but couldn't. The two week fog that was like the zombie zone nothing was real clear. Then the fog lifted and the get mad at everything stage kicked in. Wow that was the worst the others targeted me the mad phase caused me to do and say things that I would not normally do or say. I upset some of the closest people to me and for that I am truly sorry they have been supporting me and I feel that I let them down for getting mad at things they said or did. It will all work out in the end for the best.
The past week I have actually felt good I am sleeping most nights and in general just feel better. I am glad that I made the decision to quit and I am glad that there are very supportive people on this site that want to help me with my goal.

The fact that you have stated you made it through the "rage stage" gives me hope for the future.

I blew up at the kids last night because they kept asking me if they could slide down their slide while I was affixing the last bolt. I unleashed to the point that my four year old daughter was in tears and my two year old son was apologizing to me. Talk about making someone feel like a big pile of shit! My two year old apologized to me......my little princess was in tears because daddy yelled at her. Real great parenting!

I hope these fits of rage go away before I really blow a gasket.....it was a simple question from them. I was just pissed because the stupid bolt had rusted and wouldn't go back in the hole!

Keep moving forward.....thanks for sharing your trials and tribulations!

Stretch buddy it is not you it is the nic bitch coming out. Tell them you are quitting something that could hurt you and that you did not mean to get mad at them. I feel for you my 12 yr old daughter loves to hunt fish and shoot with me but I have upset her so much the past few weeks she just avoids me. Things are on the mend now but it still makes you feel like dirt. Your kids are younger and they really don't understand whats going on. Hang tough it will get better.

Day 59 I have felt great since day 50. I have gone fishin about every day shot a few round of trap life is getting back to normal just without the worry of that Skoal can in my pocket. You know I have a bunch of new shirts that I can wear now I finally figured out I don't need a pocket anymore.

Here is the Dream
Well last night was the first night I had a dip dream if that is what you want to call it. I went to the gas station to fill up and there was a guy out in front with a 4X4 and a Triton bass boat. It was adorned with the Skoal logo on both the truck and boat. I thought they are probably doing something to promote that crap. I didn't want any but I did want to check out the boat so I went to take a closer look. The guy called me by name he said your straying from the brotherhood. I commented back but I am in a brotherhood now and they treat me great. He said all you got to do is buy a roll and this is all yours. I said would you put that in writing he said sure. So I get that contract read it over and sure enough if I buy a roll of Skoal I get the boat and truck. So I went in bought a roll of Skoal wow this shit is high $7.00 a can any how I part with $75 go out hand the guy the roll of Skoal and say I am her to claim my prize. He looked at me signed every thing over and said one more thing you must take a dip for a photo. I started to open a can I was pumped up here I am I'm getting a boat and a truck wow. Then out of the blue I get a text it is from Glenn it says WTF are you doing!!! Then another text comes in from KK Don't do it you'll be sorry. Then from Waynebo and Rooster the same thing. I am thinking how in the world do these guys know whats going on. I tell the guy hey I will be right back I got to go to the bathroom. he said I will be here waiting but you must dip. I go inside I Felt like it was day 1 again the crave was real bad then the light bulb went off the fake stuff. I got a can of fake stuff dumped the skoal washed the can out refilled it with the fake stuff I though I will try this. I go back out take a big dip of the fake stuff the guy said welcome back to the brotherhood here is you prize. I can't believe this I just was handed a prize that I would love but it is not right it has the can on the side of both. I look in the boat there is a case of dip I take it to the dumpster and start to toss it in that is when a kid came up and asked if I fished for Skoal I said no but I won this boat he said I want to win a boat by chewing also give me some and I will start now. I put the stuff back in the truck My buddy was there so we head out. I start feeling really sick about what that kid had said. I started when I was real young and it hit home. On the way home I stopped at a local place that sells thing on ebay. I pulled in stopped and told the guy get rid of this for me.
My buddy could not believe What I just did he said if you want to get rid of it give it to me.I looked right at him and said that rig is the devil and must go. We had not got home when my phone rang. The store said it had sold to someone with cash and I could come get my money.
When I got there there was $75 and a note that said stay true to the brotherhood. and it had the name of everyone and our supporters from roll call.

This just goes to show how much influence this place has had on me.
Thanks guys

This is to let you know the HOF is not the end of the line. Today is day 108 I have not had a crave for some time now until lunch today. I had a burger for lunch and afterwards I had a crave for dip. I mean a kick yourself hard I want it bad crave. It lasted about 15 minutes I needed gas in the truck but decided not to go to the gas station and get that close to the dip counter. It has been a couple hours now and the crave has passed but just because you hit the hall on fame doesn't mean the game is over.
The crave I had today was just as intense today as it was the first few weeks I quit.

Keep your gaurd up.

I am done at the golden arches for awhile. We went there last night on the way to the fair. same crap as lunch.I can't belive this almost 2 months with no craves and 2 in a row the one last night was worst than the one at lunch. The only thing I can come up with is this past week at work has sucked jus no a good week period. Taking a dip would not make anything better. It would only add insult to injury at this point. I have felt much better without dipping so caving is not an option but it still sucks a bad week then craves on top of that. I feel Like I should post day 5 instead of 109. Something else that hit Wednesday this week the freakin rage stage came back. I am having to watch myself I started to blow up at the store the other day. As I sit here writing this I am craving a dip. I am going to the woods for a walk.
Stay quit whatever it takes!!!

Remember your motto "caving is not a option" you will power through I have no doubt. Sorry to hear that the nic bitch still knows your name. She's hateful eh? I to share your addiction. I actually had a pretty good week and had'nt even thought much about dip. Then last night I was going through my plans in my head that I want to accomplish this weekend and wham nic bitch shows up. Shook it off last night with a few beers and woke up this morning craving the crap! WTF. I am day 65 and have been doing fairly decent. I will make it I am not worried just pisses me off that I still want the shit. I just try to fill my head with how good my belly and throat feel and read and re-read stories about fellows that have had big C issues or scares. Sorry for the ramble, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone Bro. Hang tough this weekend, just remember that nic bitch is not bigger than KTC and together we will overcome. Congrats again on the HOF!

Livin

I have been at the fair the last couple of days all my old buddies in the barns with the big wedge and the smell of the barns that could be the trigger. Who knows your right caving is not an option I got a guy at work quitting and tring to get him to join the site but we are keeping tabs on each other so I will be ok. I posted this to let people know that just because you hit that 100 day mark it aint over. I had not really had any problems for several weeks then wham they show up.
Stay quit
Caving Is not an option!!

Ok I am 1/2 way to the second floor the first 30 days after the HOF just sucked. They were filled with intense craves a desire to go get a can and get the old habit back 'bang head' I was thinking great I made it 100 day now I am going to get to start over. I have seen some vets showing up in some of the groups and that made me even more determined I was not going to be one of them.

Today is day 150 what a few weeks can do I have not had a crave for a few weeks and feel great. I have an addition to Tobacco always will. I know I can not take 1 dip because it will lead to many more and I do not want to go back there again.

This is to let you know that just because we have hit the hall and are a "vet" we still struggle with the nic bitch also. We have learned to use the tools here to keep our quit we own our quit you will also. So hang in there quit for the day and enjoy life.
Remember CAVING IS NOT AN OPTION.

Well said, comrade. And you know that I agree completely. My struggles are documented.

But goddamn it, I will make it through today, and do it again tomorrow. Someday, I'm going to feel truly good, all the time.

Dean,

For what its worth, i struggled with the funk, the fog , the craves, clear up to the 2nd floor. My hof speech was dedicated to it does get better an it does. I still have craves on a daily basis but they are so managable. at 240 it like flickin a misquito off your arm no big deal.
Hang in bro were here for ya

Trap

Tough day yesterday my friend lost his son to cancer after a long battle. JD was 13 yrs old. He was friends with my daughter and loved the outdoors 4 wheelers whatever he could do outside. There is a couple benefits scheduled for today in our town and they were scheduled before he went into the hospital for the last time. JD pulled this community together to help him. How much power can a kid have? It seems in his case allot yesterday was were blue for JD day it was unbelievable how many blue shirts that I saw. I will leave a link in my signature to his blog for awhile for anyone that would like to visit.

Godspeed JD you are in a pain free place now.


Markr-186 My quit today is dedicated to JD Taylor and his family. JD lost his battle with cancer yesterday and will be missed by all that he had touched. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jdtaylor...ly.blogspot.com

Well I made the second floor. 200 days without Skoal that in its self is a miracle for me! I have received allot of support here over the past 200 days. I have seen people start then just disappear only to resurface on day 1 again. I have had quit brothers fight for there quit. Some of you are still struggling. For the past 50 or 60 days my quit has been uneventful, no big craves nothing. I did loose a family friend some of you followed the JD Taylor story he is at peace now a 13 year old kid that was tough as nails and a angel all at the same time. That got me thinking that JD turned our town around one person can make a difference no matter how small.
So here is what I would like for you to do. If you are not already mentor someone here. Just pick a quitter behind you make contact and support them. It will help you and it will help them. Post support for them and drop them an PM every now and then. What is the worst that can happen you get a new friend out of the deal?

Well I made the second floor. 200 days without Skoal that in its self is a miracle for me! I have received allot of support here over the past 200 days. I have seen people start then just disappear only to resurface on day 1 again. I have had quit brothers fight for there quit. Some of you are still struggling. For the past 50 or 60 days my quit has been uneventful, no big craves nothing. I did loose a family friend some of you followed the JD Taylor story he is at peace now a 13 year old kid that was tough as nails and a angel all at the same time. That got me thinking that JD turned our town around one person can make a difference no matter how small.
So here is what I would like for you to do. If you are not already, mentor someone here. Just pick a quitter behind you make contact with them and support them till they hit the HOF. It will help you and it will help them. Post support for them and drop them an PM every now and then. What is the worst that can happen you get a new friend out of the deal?

So make the difference today support a quitter!

Mark, congrats on reaching the 2nd floor!

I completely agree with you. Mentoring a new quitter is a great way to keep yourself engaged. I also find that investing yourself in a quit(s) other than your own also strengthens your quit......you can't fail if someone is depending on you. Paying it forward in this manner is the least we can do.

Good stuff Mark.

'party'

200 DAYS! I should have known. You had just reached 100 days on the day we met. In chat, I think?

This is so awesome! On to the next step already... together reaching 300, and 200. :)

It is awesome that I am one of the people you randomly picked to support. And I thought I wasn't a lucky person. Never can say that again.

Day 237

I have not been real close to the site for a couple weeks now. I have been hunting hard with my daughter and she is playing AAU Basketball also so basically I am at work in the tree stand at ball practice / game or in bed. I have not had a crave for some time now and I feel confident in my quit at this point. Friday I got home from work my daughter said lets go to the woods. we change clothes and went up in the woods. We live in the woods where we hunt. We are seated in our stands by 4:15 5 rolls around no deer. 5:30 I see a nice buck walking towards my daughters stand I can see her and the deer but she is looking the other way. The buck stops and looks at her stand she is looking through the binoculars about 90 degrees from where the deer is standing. He must not have made her out because he continued down the lane he is now in front of her. Dad is going nuts watching this from 75 yrd away. All at once she spots the buck she make some quick moves and the Buck picked up on them and looks right at her. I am thinking game over and decide to try to use a grunt call. I hit the call and the buck looked at me allowing her to get in position to make her shot. She shot the buck dropped in its tracks. I can not express how proud I am of her she is 14 yrs old and this is her 4th deer. But the first with dad out of the stand. The first thing I did was call her on the radio and tell her great job, the next thing I did was reach in my pocket for the can that has not been there for over 200 days. It is amazing that I still reach for the can there was no crave just a reflex to grab the can.
Below are the deer pics if you want to see them. The antlers scored 125 green and she is 14.

http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt4/mar...ather2009-3.jpg
http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt4/mar...ather2009-2.jpg

I am so proud of her and both of my girls ask me at least once a week " What day you on today Dad" I could never face them and tell them I failed them and was on day 1 or get caught with a dip. I am still fighting my weight I have always been heavy but I loose a few and gain them back. I have decided to give up until at least after Thanksgiving. It has been awhile since I have wrote here so I thought I would leave a note. This has been a sounding board and sometimes just posting what happed can make the difference.

With the stress of the Holidays upon us it could be easy to just let your guard down. We are all addicts just remember that let your guard down and the addiction will seize the opportunity.

Stay Quit and happy holidays.

Life is good friend. Thanks for posting this.

Very good stuff, Markr! That's a great buck she brought in, and a great story. Thanks man.

4th deer! You got a real killer on your hands dad! Big congrats to her! Nice job teaching the ways!

Day 255


More ramblings Thanksgiving is past now and the Christmas shopping season is in full swing and my quit has never been better. This Thanksgiving was full of great joy this year. The family comes to my house and the garage becomes a food court for a day. Everyone was in great sprits and this was a first for me no dip. That is the first Thanksgiving in over 35 yrs with no chew. I cook the turkey sometimes I smoke it and sometimes I fry it this year it was fried dip has always been part of that tradition. Did I miss it? No. After the big meal dip was always part of that too. We go out and shoot on my range did I miss the dip? No. We sat around telling stories about events from the past year and I told about my daughters hunt and my nephew asked what I was digging for in my pocket. Damn I went for that can again. I did not realize that I was doing it, I had no craving just a freaking reaction.

Since that time I have asked a few of my friends and my family to let me know if they catch me digging in my pocket. It appears that I “go for the can” when I am real happy or excited about something. This is a habit I may never break. I noticed for the first time since I quit that UST dropped the price of Skoal. My wife asked why I was looking at the cans and I said I was just checking the price nothing more.

Last night I saw a young kid that reminded me of myself when I was his age. He was maybe 17 he had a monster dip in and was trying to get someone to buy him some dip. I over heard him ask a couple people that he knew and one agreed. I went on about my shopping and on my way out the boy was there with a couple buddies. I don’t know what got into me but I stopped and told him he should give up the chew. He looked at me like I was crazy. I told him I started when I was 8 and it took me almost 40 yrs to quit. A few days ago I printed the Kerns story out and put it in my wallet along with the caving contract. I wrote down the website and gave them the 2 pieces of paper. I asked that they read it before they throw it out. If you are reading this and are the one I talked to the other night PM me I will give you my number and back you up. I was just like you when I was your age a farm kid that liked to work on trucks and play hard. Don’t wait 40 yrs to quit.

I guess quitting with all of you makes a bond a brotherhood if you will that makes you reach out to others to offer help. I would have never approached that young man even 100 days ago. I just think being free from the addition is great. I really hope the young man will contact me. I am sorry for the rambling but it is part of my closure with the habit I had for almost 40 years. From day 1 of my quit I have had a new day every day. I don't remember not dipping so every day is one more in the books for me.

Stay Quit!!!

It's called "Paying it Forward" Mark!!!! And it feels awesome!!!!! :) I enjoyed your story about Thanksgiving! It was a year ago last Thanksgiving that I was on the fence about whether I should quit, could I really quit, etc.... I was literally scared to death to part with my copenhagen! This Thanksgiving was great because I was celebrating a year quit and I didn't have to worry about spilling my spit cup in my inlaws house!

A year ago I could not have imagined talking to a stranger about quitting, now it seems to come natural! A year ago I don't think I felt worthy enough to talk to someone else about their quit, because honestly, I still wasn't sure if mine was for real or not! I don't know of anyone who I have talked to that has actually joined QSX but hopefully it has planted a thought in their mind and they will eventually act on it!

I guess as You gain more confidence in your self you start to project the image that I did this you can too.

Still it is one thing to hide behind a keyboard and quite another to walk up to someone at Wal-Mart!

110 days to 1 year and believe me I am looking forward to that day as much as the train coming to get me at 100 days :D :D
Thanks for your support Curt!!!

Day 259

Alright thing are starting to get crazy now. Christmas is closing in fast and time is running out for shopping. I know this weekend will be a doozy we have Christmas on Saturday and Sunday and need to travel. There is nothing relaxing about the holidays. My grandma lost her battle with cancer 2 years ago Christmas was her favorite time of year. She could always make sense of the chaos as long as everything went her way :D Anyhow I have been feeling down the past couple days. Today I stumbled across a website that had the Christmas Guest by Grandpa Jones on it. This was always one of my favorite things to hear. It reminds us no matter how disappointed we are things may not always be as we see them. It gave me a big boost today so I thought I would share it with you.
Here is the link to the site enjoy the story if you have never heard it. Play it again if you have.

http://www.stinalisa.com/ChristmasGuest.html

Merry Christmas and keep your quit.