I wasn't going to quit till a few days and after looking around on the site, I would like to quit now, can i join the may hof group?

you absolutely can my friend.. just head on over and post roll

http://www.killthecan.org/roll/

congrats on an AWESOME decision!

hi
i am a chronic depression patient. i am diagnosed with depression when i was in 8th grade. so i dependent on tobacco as my support for everything. i am dependent on it for my everyday chore, my anxiety, my enjoy, everything.

i have been chewing for the last 15 years. Now that i become a mom i know i want to live for my baby. so i have been preparing to quit for the last few weeks. i went to a hospital . they have a tobacco ceasation program. they gave me some materials, and asked me to use nicotrette gum and prescribed welbuterine to help me quit.
i am taking 1 dip a day now. i heard that the medicine and the nicotrette gum will make my tobacco tasteless, but it didn't happen. moreover, i am scared to get rid of my supply of tobacco. i keep telling myself that i will not chew but the knowledge that i have it will give me peace. but i am chewing atleast i a day.

tell me what i can do? can i have a group that will help me to motivate and support me when i need that. can i chat or e-mail them when i need. my husband is very supportive but he just don't understand how though it is for me to quit.

hello maushumi17,

I wish I could show you all my posts ever written because of my addiction. I started 23 years ago, married my high school sweetheart and kept it hidden well. People quit for different reasons like choosing a plan and a quit day. This is my opinion and not in any way to discourage you. But I tried picking those days. I tried but failed not only with myself but in the eyes of my husband.

One day - Jan 4 2007 .. I finished a can and I thought lets see how long this time before I get that Copenhagen crave. What I did differently then all the other times before is I educated myself about this addiction and I found this site on my 5th day.
The first week is rough. Your body is fighting you to get your fix. Once you get pass 3 days all the nicotine is finally out of your body. Now comes the mind games. And believe me, I thought at times I was a complete mad women. I don't know how I did it! I know this site and my quit brothers and sisters helped but I also finally believed in myself that I am the one in control not that tin can.

I wasted so much time on thinking about when I could dip, where I could dip and I would do everything in my power to avoid parties, friends and even family so I could be with my addiction. A sad and lonely place!

Hon, you are so much better than letting this consume you. Read, " If Given The Chance" and then dump that can in the toilet and flush. No garbage can use. Otherwise, you can go digging in that very trash can for your tin can.

If you have a chance I've wrote alot about this journey. Read over some of it and other articles. Ask questions. Don't be afraid to show emotion! If you need me I'm in group April 2007 and today is 574 days for me.

One last thing before I go to bed, I applaud you for standing up and telling us you are a female dipper. That took alot of courage and strength.

If you can do that ... then you can do the quitting part. Believe in yourself!

I believe in you!

Sincerely,
mylilsecret

I almost forgot I am ADHD and have Bipolar Disorder. Not only do I endure great highs and extreme lows but my youngest son was diagnosed with it too. Ask anyone .. I've been through it and I am sure there is more to come. But that's just life and you deal with it! (hug)

hi mylisecret
your reply is awesome. it gave me a lot of strength. today is my day one and so far its going ok. all of your support is very very imprtant to me. please continue sending me message. i will also write to you if i am in bad shape.

You've seen me on here more lately especially the last three nights .. I'm in a manic episode and sleepless nights is something you have when enduring this. And when I mean sleepless .. I mean wide awake. Nothing can stop it! The one medication I take at night, Klonopin, makes you sleepy. I take that and a sleeping pill and I don't feel a bit tired. Yes, looking at me, my body is drained and worn down but my head/brain whatever to hell it is just won't let go until it wants to or to the point of no return and finally my head says, "Ok, I think I'll sleep now." It used to be really hard for my husband to understand how my body could function and be able to go through another 24 hours without my eyelids closing an inch.

Before I knew I had bipolar, I didn't know why at times I just couldn't sleep. I just thought I was battling insomina. I'd lie awake in bed staring into the darkness, umm ok ... now 10 mins later I am still laying there trying my best to think of something to dream about .. 20 mins now I've rearranged my legs and arms in so many positions that my pillows have ended up on the floor or on top of my husband. By this point, I just turn the tv on until morning arrives. Then I am off with my day like I had Zzzz ... all night. I've tried soft music .. my favorite is Enya. I've taken hot baths with lavender. I've tried to read and drink warm milk. I hate to actually admit to this but I would drink Nyquil and nothing. You have no power!

It gets tougher as days and nights pass the longest sleep episode was a few years ago and it was five days and four nights .. fifth day in the afternoon I crashed. I looked like hell. I felt like hell at that point. In the beginning it's just not being able to sleep but you get bursts of energy. One minute I could yawn after eating lunch because of two nights with no sleep and then BAM! I've got to do something or I'll get an idea or I'll write! My head takes control and throws me into overload. It's hard to explain!

You've heard me say this before, I know this is a quit site but you are my outlet, my coping skill, hell this is where I ramble. I rant and rave about my life. As a closet dipper, I'd love these nights. I could dip endlessly with no worries.

I don't dip now and this is my first real battle with the mania (sleeping part) since my quit began. I am typing this at 1am on my third night without any shut eye. And I have no indications if I'll finally crash or end up just lying there wondering how I am going to make it through. That's when I'll just get fed up and turn on my laptop and write. I know there might be quitters out there that probably get sick of reading what I write but then there are the ones that read through my post and somehow can relate. Maybe not to my illness but working through an issue without having a dip.

Last night, hell early morning I got a PM about a person needing help. This person wanted to pick a quit date and use Nic gum or something else to ease into their quit. I gave them my opinion and politely said I picked quit days and it never worked.

Hell ... I picked quit birthdays and anniversarys, quits for each New Year even quit dates while carrying my precious little one within my belly. Those days came and those days went but I still held that damn can and packed another one in. This person I felt was using dip as a crutch to cope with their depression .. in return ... subconsciously ... that depression may be growing because of the inability to quit. After posting back, I laid in bed thinking even after picking a quit day if that person went back to using smokeless tobacco. I hoped that one day they would find it in their heart the strength to quit and believe they can do it.

I saw tonight a reply!

Today this person quit! Today is Day One for my quit sister!
I couldn't be any happier knowing some may scroll past my posts but some may actually read what I have to say and take something away from it!

Ok, It's after two! I'll hush for now .. watch some tv and hope tonight I'll get a little shut eye!

-mylilsecret

Ps) Here's your new quit sister!